Head Over Parapet.. Commence!

I've posted a couple in the Guardian today.

Both to David Miliband at the UN climate change conference: day two

"I'm trying to get a grip who is saying what, and with luck doing the same thing. Or, more likely, another.

Sorry to kick off with the Indy, but with a front page that has all the political party logos to the left and the UKIP logo and a picture of Mr. Blair - not his party - to the right (no comment) I have read this today: "David Miliband, the Environment Secretary, wants to extend the carbon trading scheme to include more businesses such as hotels and supermarkets. But Gordon Brown, the Chancellor, is resisting the idea."

But then in this fine tome I now read '...reports of a clash with the chancellor, Gordon Brown, were " ridiculous".

May I ask who thinks what, and who gets the casting vote on environmental matters in government?

And what, precisely, will this country's stance be, and the consequences to industry and the voting population.

Please can we have some tangibles, and with luck avoiding the word 'targets'.
I've watched a succession of his Ministerial eco-colleagues been given a daily 3 minutes on BBC Breakfast TV trot out waffle, and when posed questions on real-life, actions (such as VAT breaks on e-friendly home improvements), the best I've heard so far is 'it's tricky, and were looking at it'.

Hope the weather's nice there."

Second, to anyone, really

"In posting before, a little ad popped up telling me that I could save 30% on my energy bills by popping in a wind turbine. Sounds a plan. But is this so? I have also recently read (Mail on Sunday, sorry) that they may not be such a good idea, not just financially but environmentally.

Meanwhile, it seems a good idea to buy a hybrid. Only I don't live in London (some of us don't - and the nearest train station is 40 minutes way, and at 4x the fare, let's not go there here) and lugging a battery down the M4 apparently isn't too smart either.

With major political leaders advocating, and in some cases stuffing through either laws against or incentives for such things daily, and such contradictory advice either in support or against, its all a tad confusing for the poor consumer.

When are we going to see some sense talked by the political and green elites (activist and media) that don't presume we all live in a house in Putney, can all afford to offset our Perrier and jaunts to Klosters, and whack up a solar panel on the nanny flat each week?

I know there are a lot of folk out there struggling along with mortgages, kids, holiday plans, relative overseas etc, who are not only seeing a bit much on the fine or tax front that will affect the minority of those who can afford it not one jot. And precious little on the incentive front that can help those who want to do something but need help and non-agenda-driven guidance that works for them and the planet.

Speaking of which, while recycling is dead good and all, is it perhaps not getting a bit too much of the lion’s share of the target-driven culture that serves box-tickers and makes a lot of folk big money (quangos, ad agencies, local composting officer salaries/pensions, waste contractors)? A few tens of millions of folk spending a minute a day sorting out their waste is a heck of a wage bill saved. But it isn't too satisfying or anything other than emotionally rewarding on an individual level.

Reduction can be equally unattractive (but doesn't have to be). But let me pitch something that can help a tad and be both fun and rewarding: repair and reuse. Try http//:www.junkk.com for a start."

Shame I cocked up the URL, though! D'oh!

Who? More like Where's Wally?

Now my eyesight isn't so good. And I know there's been a lot of monkeying about with logos lately.

But while I can see the Lib Dems and I think (worth noting to graphic designers what reads best) Tories and Greens on the left, somewhat aptly to the right is UKIP & Mr. Blair - as opposed to, one presumes, the Labour Party, our Government... guys in charge.

What an odd front page?

Q&A - Question and Avoidance

I can't seem to get Junkk.com (me, maybe) arrested, much less mentioned as a viable part of the fight against waste.

This morning was typical. In advance of the Queen's Speech, we had a puff piece with the Minister for (something eco... How many are there now?), 'Bouffant Ben' Bradshaw showing off his vlog on how easy it is to recycle... in London.

When it came to corporate responsibilities, it was clearly stated that 'turning to legislation at every turn' is not the best way to go. Out of the mouths of Blair babes...

Moving swiftly on, it was jokingly pointed out that he actually had been caught in the very transgression of co-mingling, which in another council area would have got him... um.. a fine.

'Just show's how tricky it all is,' he guffawed. And how easy to say one thing and do another. Or be asked one thing and answer... well... differently to that required.

Apparently those who have been fined, as captured so loudly in the papers of late, they were in the minority and 'had been warned several times'. Accepted nods all round from fellow Beeb bouffant. Were they? Had they? I didn't get that impression from the last one I read. I guess we'll never know.

About the only thing I did learn was that banning plastic carriers is not going to work 'cos people just turn to paper, and that's worse environmentally. Is it?

Meanwhile, other than four soldiers getting blown apart, we'll have the skateboarding minister for tortoises on...

Getting Noticed For All The Wrong Reasons

I have in my time commented and pitched to BBCs Working Lunch a fair bit. Like when they went on an eco-tour of the country ands I thought we'd be worth mentioning. It all fell on deaf ears. Not a dicky-bird, despite their frequent exhortations to get in touch in their mails, show and site. It was something raised in a Newswatch or Newsnight a while ago, I recall, by another frustrated, failed contributor.

Of course, nice does not cut it these days.

So it is with interest that I note the following terse reply (with mine back... the plot thickens) to my admittedly terse enquiry (prose gets binned I've found) just now about one of their pieces:

It is/was open to those in the UK, and further field who have a business needing investment to continue its growth and it is meant to be more than just a one off competition. I'm sorry you were disappointed with the item.

I was disappointed in as much as I tuned in to see about a further opportunity to expand, which seemed to have passed. If it is still open to those in the UK then maybe I should have not have been. Where can I find out more?

May I ask do you use "see us on the BBC" on all your promotional literature ?

As we don't have any, I'd say no, unless you count my email signature. May I ask why you ask? Would you like me to stop? It was a while ago.

It will be interesting to see where this leads. I'm guessing she's going to equate me looking for promo for my frre, public service website, with giving 3 minute commercials to for-major-profit CEOs, a major beef of mine with a public broadcaster.

Addendum:

Didn't hear back. Surprise. Didn't like that. Big surprise. Took issue. Well, there's a surprise.

The BBC has a complaints system. As they get a lot, they may not alwasy answer. Let's see what happens:

Not a complaint... yet. But as things have been left hanging more than 24hrs after a flurry of activity, I have a... concern.

I wrote to the above programme with a question, and in addition to my answer had the following comment regarding my email signature:

May I ask do you use "see us on the BBC" on all your promotional literature ?

Best wishes

Lynne Jones

I immediately answered, but then asked why this was posed, but to date have not heard back.

May I therefore formally ask for an explanation as I remain
unclear for the reasons behind this question and the manner in which it was asked.

OK, I'm the Grinch That Stole The Planet

A long, long time ago, I lived in Hong Kong. And I was a slob. I worked all day and played all night. So I decided to get fit. So every lunch I took a tube to a city helth club, and then up a lift, where I static-cycled and Stairmastered for an hour.

Then I thought: 'Why no cycle there and walk up. And then turn back?' A lot cheaper. And better for me.

I'm afraid this is what ran through my mind when I read this: Kids walk to Moon and back in climate campaign

I'm all for awareness, but Britta Freitag of the German-based Climate Alliance travelled how far to hand a suitcase stuffed with 618,315 paper "green footprints" to U.N. climate talks in Nairobi on Monday?

100,000 children cut out the shape of their foot from whatt pieces of paper for every mile?

Some 5,000 delegates are discussing ways to step up the fight on global warming, with Austria a leading contributor to the campaign with more than 200,000 cut-out coloured footprints.

Apparently, most scientists say that global warming is being stoked by emissions of greenhouse gases from burning fossil fuels in power plants, factories and vehicles.... like, paper making ones and planes to get folk to jollies?

Nil points.

Working for whom?

Working Lunch just ended.

I had to write, becuase I felt my time had been wasted. They sent me a 'heads up' that made me watch to see about enetring a contest. Hnece:

"I tuned in to watch because of this:

On Tuesday we talk to venture capitalists from the Isle of Man who are running a competition to find entrepreneurs.

Interesting questions posed.

So I'm clear, this is now a closed competition and it was/is not open to me anyway? So really it was a promo piece for the IoM than of any real value to businesses like mine?"

They also had in the programme a pitch to appear on Friday if you paid enough (for charity). Now what's airime on the BBC worth to the right business with a pitch to make? Hmmn. Your licence fee at work.

The sound of silence

I'm watching BBC Working Lunch. Just emailed them (it says it all):

"I'm watching your show.

This morning on BBC Breakfast, Govt. Minsister Darling was asked about incentives to help us engage more environmental measures in the home. What I heard was a ton of waffle, with at best, 'it was being looked at'.

Now I hear another Minister, Mr. Pearson, being asked pretty much the same question, this time on eco-fuels for transport. And guess what... the same non answer!!!

What is the point of asking these very pertinent questions if they are to be allowed to get air time to say nothing."

Addendum: Worth a gander, from the dti website.

The trouble with high horses: being behind a higher one

Sorry, I am inordinately proud of that title. And in scouting around for something to go with it, I came across the attached. I've arched an eyebrow at words vs. deeds (Pols telling how to save the planet and not doing so themsleves. Green media mouthing off on eco-stuff whilst promoting less than optimal behaviour - I'll try and get the URLs) before, and make no apology for doing so again. Let they who are without carbon offsets cast the first nasturtium!

Just(ify) the facts, man

I keep breaking my vow to avoid debates on climate change, but this one is too big to ignore, both figuratively and literally.

Lord Monckton's artcile - Wrong problem, wrong solution (plus another, Greenblinkers) makes for an interesting read. It certainly stirred up something. And a sad explantion for where we are, and headed: the PDF of responses to his last article. 77 pages of small type! Who on earth has time to read all that and still have a life?

Suffice to say that I can't be bothered with so much needless argument, but have to say that I am depressed that much of it is fulled by vitriol rather than a desire to seek answers.

Little that you know that I know that you know less than me

A big day for windbags - This is a dazzling debunking of climate change science. It is also wildly wrong


Here's my contribution:

"Golly, I wish we could harness all this energy arguing about who knows more than whom. Then it may be some use. I'm a bit more interested in what I can (which has many parameters) do. For instance, as one of the rotation ('scuse the pun) there was a nifty wind turbine ad spinning up in the top right hand corner of this piece. Funny if it was between a bottled water and skiing holiday one, eh? It says I can go green without going into the red. Is this true? I have heard the payback period can be quite a long time. And even the environmental side seems to be being challenged, too: "Wind turbines 'may actually do more harm than good' Daily Mail" (ah, that may explain it, though the quoted bods are mainstream eco): http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=415993&in_page_id=1770 I just wish when it comes to matters of fact these days I could trust, and act on, what I read. Anywhere. Not any more, sadly."

One billion Chinese can't... er... what?

And so one leads to the next. Couldn't not pitch in with my nifty headline previously, so here's what I lobbed into the Guardian blog: The smoking dragon

"This morning on Breakfast TV I watched a reporter outside a suburban semi telling me the owners 'were laughing', one presumes on account of the nice perch they had provided for the pigeons, as the thing was in negative rotation mode.

Meanwhile, at the weekend I read that even some expert (whatever they are) environmentalists had conceded that not only were these things not exactly the panacea to our energy needs, but may actually detract from the overall planetary benefit environmentally!!!

One has to wonder where all this stuff gets made, and shipped from, especially if it is now looking like a marketing fad just to get us to buy more stuff.

Who the heck do we listen to? Who do we believe?

Certainly not our Government. To a series of rather pertinent questions about VAT rebates and grants Mr. Darling seemed to manage 5 minutes' worth of waffle amounting to 'it will be looked at.' Meanwhile Mr. Cameron is going to set targets and fire the guy at the top if we don't meet them.

That'll sort it all, then."

Labour Is Working... 'Til You Drop

OK. so I'm getting political. But this one was hard to resist. In reply to this - Public sector aloof from pensions chaos - in the Telegraph, I had to offer:

'I think it was a recent programme that commented on US-style attack ads, and asked what if we had them here. I always thought we did. We need them.

In light of this, may I suggest to the Tories an homage to their famous poster, this time with a line of pension-aged folk lining up at the factory gates: 'Labour Is Working... 'Til You Drop.'

I pondered an asterisk that would point out that the only ones work on government side would be younger box tickers monitoring our progress to ensure enough is skimmed off for their comfortable retirement.'

A Total Lack Of Effective Spin

Another day, another initiative. Another media talking head. Another Minister. Another anchor asking but not worrying about failing to get an answer.

Against the backdrop of a suburban home, a BBC reporter says the owner ' is laughing' because of, amongst other things, his wind turbine. Sadly, it seemed to be more of a bird perch than energy generation device as it was, well, still.

Then we had Al Darling, Minister for Gravitas, being interrogated by the vanilla of the day, who actually asked(well, had been given) some good questions. Sadly, she seemed less than concerned that he didn't actually saying anything useful in reply. My email to the Beeb:

'Who is laughing, exactly? ... when I read stuff like the article attached - Wind turbines 'may actually do more harm than good' - I just get confused when I am told how great* wind turbines are. And did Mr. Darling answer a single question (such as your one about wall cavity and VAT reductions), or simply say things were going to be looked at?'

My faith in Government and the Media takes a further dive. I wonder if this was their plan when they figured talk was cheaper than action?

At least there was one good bit of advice. Move your fridge a tad more away from the wall. It makes it more efficient.

*On present evidence it looks like another way to make more stuff, which is hardly eco, and of course more money for the chancers.

Flash - Credit where due!

Just checked the Voda site again and they have posted a back-up plan.

Thx to them. I just hope all who missed out will get to reapply.

No such thing as no publicity.

The Big Idea seemed such a, well good , idea.

But it has been, and still does represent a roller-coaster ride.

I'm still cropping up in idents, though the latest had my picture linked to section on non-commercial ideas. Actually, the only real question I had from the panel was from Ruth Badger about revenue, and my answer was good enough for her to nod and put me through. Gotta love those editors.

Having watched the latest jaw-dropping show (As in, these are the best they could drum up??? I know there were better to choose.. beyond us), we got inspired by the spirit of 'out's better than nought' and decided to go for the £10k viewer prize. In some ways this is more attractive as it has obvious PR value but also is cash and run. I had not appreciated people got cuts of the winners when we set off originally. No way Jose.

So we duly submitted our entry yesterday. Or tried to. As you will gather by my having to leave this message on their forum page today:

"Have to add another voice to the frustrated online uploaders.

The deadline is/was midnight on the 12th (yesterday).

We tried all evening. The pitch was 1' 20". Admitedly it was over double the requested (but not mandated) size, but the subtleties of video compression are a bit beyond us.

Broadband to broadband takes only a few minutes (we swapped between PCs no problem).

Why oh why is it always a form with a 'browse' and 'submit' system. These things always clash. emails are so much more reliable and you know what has happened at the end.

We tried Mac & PC, Firefox & Safari and IE. On IE we at least got a 'failed' advice (not that we wanted one!), but the others just whirred away and we have no clue whether they worked.

With luck we'll get some joy from the contact number this morning (if the Voda customer service staff have a clue what this site is).
Otherwise it is to be hoped that there will be a solution offered to those of us who could not enter by deadline. At least an advice here.

Watch this space!"

I don't know whether to be encouraged or not that the total Forum had run up not much more than 100 entries in the whole show, but several were about the same problem. Thing is, it doesn't seem as if the organisers read their own Forum, as there have been no replies. I figure they read their texts, though.

Meanwhile a call to the help number has us now richocheting (how apt is that.. it's the production company now!) from one bored, indifferent or plain unaware Vodafone minion to another. 2 hrs and counting since 'we'll get right back to you'.

Not the best handled effort I have been with. And we have been with some shambolic ones! I'm not sure it is even legal, as a lot of folk have committed a lot of money (entering and voting), and the system seems very secretive as well as plain bad.

I guess the best thing to do is leave with this thought from a financial journalist:
Bigmouth Badger plugs in to TV flop

Can't really fault his analysis, but as it's their ball it's their game. But one has to wonder what machinations have been at work to structure the entries and/or winners, and those who billed it 'the Big Idea' have a lot of cojones.

Or maybe they have estimated the British Public's threshold for demanding broadcast entertainment precisely. Trouble is, where goes the common man, there follows business and government.

Volt(aire) Face

I was watching the news today and there was coverage of the acquittal of the British National Party head honcho on the charge of something like 'fomenting race hatred'. It was based on the same channel's undercover report where he made a private speech that was secretly recorded. Passing quickly on from the report's distinction that an all white jury cleared him (don't recall a racial breakdown before, oddly. Is it possible these non-BBC-luvvies just couldn't find a legal justification to convict, regardless of skin hue? A notion borne out by subsequent events), I guess I should make some effort to listen to the whole thing before commenting, but I really can't be bothered. It sounded like a bit of a boozy back-room rant to me. Frankly I'd say if you wanted to listen to such drivel and make the effort to go out to do so, good luck, so what the BBC was skulking around trying to get offended about I can't imagine. The BNP's views are pretty well known. But skulk they did, and an issue was made. And a court case. Lots of money, oops, down the tubes. Thing is, without listening to the whole thing, the 'offending' thing sounded no more than an opinion to me. I may not agree with it, but last I heard he was entitled to have it, and voice it. Apparently not.

Seems that having not got the required result there are now moves afoot to change the law some more, to bend it in a favoured direction. This is a slippy road. And we're already well down it. What on earth served our forfathers over the centuries so well, and continually needs mucking about with every few days now?

And as an opinionated sod, I am concerned. Purely selfish, because I can see me ending up in deep doo doo one day. I'd like to think I'm smart enough to keep this written blog the right side of the PC threshold (and I don't think I'll ever find myself standing for office), but I do open my gob in conversation and what I think can pop out. I know that they do say you should never discuss politics or religion (or, G... er.. heaven forefend, both) but as I know diddly about sport, fashion and soap operas there's not much left.

So I recently offended. I didn't mean to, but I did.

It wasn't even an opinion, but a projection based on some facts. Or, at least, as near to any as it is possible to get these days. It started (and I didn't even start it) with the environment, but sort of strayed into other territories.

Basically I moved from my understanding of the extrapolation of population growth (which already had, without my knowing lit a fuse - though if we have finite space and an expanding world population I can't see any other end point), to a notion that democracy was perhaps not the perfect ideal some would have it. Things could be quite easily moved in directions not anticipated by its most ardent proponents by the simple expedient of one societal set out-breeding another. If that set harbours differing views then, well, by democratic process they could effect change simply by outvoting those who disagree, and may have until a certain point have been in the majority. Then it boils down to how radical the changes are required to be, and if the new minority can live with them. In essence, democracy can be democratically voted out. And that is hard to reverse.

One of the party I was discussing this with suddenly announced that she was offended. I asked by what. She didn't quite seem to have the specifics, but I'm guessing she just didn't approve of this area of philosophical exploration and sought to censor, or stop it. As she was a nice person and I saw no value in taking this discussion down a dark path, I apologised for unintended offence, and we got back to more neutral territory pronto. Some book or other I think. As she may not have read Fahrenheit 451 the irony that it may end on the bonfire one day would doubtless have been lost on her.

So I remain troubled, for all the examples and reasons shared above. Actually, I believe she was offended by her own mindset. I had not said anything that was not a reasonable potential scenario, and though there are non-verbal indicators that can shape the dry content of words, I actually offered no view at all as to whether I thought this possible outcome was a good or bad thing. Hence my offendee had decided for herself that it was bad, and heaped her self-criticism for finding it so upon me. So if anyone should have been offended, it was me.

So if you're interested in my opinion, and if you're reading this and have got this far I'm assuming you are, I'd say go on a guilt trip I you feel so disposed, but don't expect me to be willingly taken along for a ride. I've said it before but will say it again: 'You don't have to go looking for offence; if you are so peverse as to want it to find you... it will'.

Addendum:

This from the Telegraph: No one has the right to band hatred

To which I aded my adapt of the above post:

Volt(aire) face! Passing quickly on from the news report's (that introduced me to this) distinction that an 'all white' jury cleared him (don't recall a racial breakdown before, oddly. Is it possible the jury just couldn't find a legal justification to convict, regardless of skin hue? A notion borne out by subsequent events), it sounded like a bit of a boozy back-room rant to me. Frankly I'd say if you wanted to listen to such drivel and make the effort to go out to do so, good luck. So what the BBC was skulking around trying to get offended about I can't imagine. The BNP's views are pretty well known. But skulk they did, and an issue was made. And a court case. Lots of money, oops, down the tubes. Thing is, without listening to the whole thing, the 'offending' bit I was served sounded no more than an opinion to me. I may not agree with it, but last I heard he was entitled to have it, and voice it. Apparently not.

Having not got the required result these 'moves afoot to change the law' some more, to 'bend it in a favoured direction', are a slippy road. And we're already well down it. What on earth served our forefathers over the centuries so well, and continually needs mucking about with every few days now?

And as an opinionated sod, I am concerned. Purely selfish, because I can see me ending up in deep doo doo one day. I'd like to think I'm smart enough to keep anything written here or in my blog on the right side of the PC threshold (and I don't think I'll ever find myself standing for office), but I do open my gob in conversation and what I think can pop out. I know that they do say you should never discuss politics or religion (or, G... er.. heaven forefend, both) but as I know diddly about sport, fashion and soap operas there's not much left.

But most offence seems to be baggage taken along by those who are already on guilt trips of their own making.

So if you're interested in my opinion (and if you're reading this and have got this far I'm assuming you are), feel free to take that journey if you feel so disposed. But don't expect me to be willingly taken along for a ride. It's been said before and is worth repeating: 'You don't have to go looking for offence; but if you are so perverse as to want it to find you... it will'.

At it again, 4x4 he's a repetitive fellow!

OK, I admit it. I can't resist. And in so doing I become part of the problem. Put if I can divert some of the energy away from divise, petty issues, to unified, major ones, then it may be worth it.

This from the Telegraph, with a few stats/facts I didn't know (if they are valid, of course): The environmental choice?

To which I replied: "A good article, though to justify the headline it perhaps should have been published back to front.

'The' environmental choice, at least as it refers to travel, is to walk or cycle. But that is often not an option in a time-poor, multi-mile-demanding business or social situation, with often woeful public transport outside (and in) of major urban centres.

I consider the whole 4x4 thing a divisive distraction, for many of the reasons offered here, and more. I'll ignore the other debated negatives such as safety and size, other than to say I'm not sure if I want my kids hit by a white van any more than an SUV. Or a G-reg 205 doing 50 in the town as the road revenue devices are all out on the dual carriageway. So I'll try and train them to stay on the pavement.

If it is about the environment, then surely the penalties should come when vehicles are moving, and emitting global warming gasses? That could of course mean taxing the fuel the produces them, and one might find that a few Mondeo-driving (or R-reg Volvo... mea culpa. Can't afford a Prius, it won't help much in the country /motorway, and anyway 15-25% of a car's e-pact is in its construction, right? So, Ms. Hunt, stay bored and save the planet) registered voters get a bit unhappy about it all favouring those who can afford it or live in Notting Hill/Westminster. Political suicide for the pols? Best leave it to the activists to do the job with gestures.

However, by way of balance, may I suggest that if we only wait 'til forecasts pan out to act on what they had suggested, it can often mean the boat may have already sailed... in this case up your street."

There but for the grace of God...

I'm still catching up. So I'm still basically nicking (well, passing on) other folks' stuff.

And this has to be worth it: An Olympian feat of political vanity

Now I do need to stress that this is titled 'A personal view', and should be viewed as such. But facts are facts, statements are statements, and those who do not study history are destined to find events repeating themselves. The signs... are not good.

It is also, on the face of it, not much to do with our remit. But as I continue to attempt to swim through a sea of fudge at official level, it is worth a further reminder what those who try to do things face from those who are supposed to pave the way.

And it is going to be a 'Green' event. Let the finger pointing begin!

Since Graeme asked...

As some will know, I find the whole '4x4's are evil' a tad broad in its brushstrokes, a little city-centric in its acolytes and just a bit less than where our main energies could lie.

So as I was mooching around an interesting website, I could not resist trying to answer a question posed:

Posted by Graeme Kemp on 02 November 2006, 8:46:22 AM I was interested in the comment that 4X4 vehicles are "essential" for some people? __Really, who?__Most of the 4X4s I've seen are simply used as status symbols, in places like Esher and similar. I've never seen one actually being used for anyone's work or employment. They are social ego-boosters, nothing more.__4x4s are big, bulky, costly, superior and no friend of the environment. Let's price them off the roads!

Me!

For the benefit of the poster (from/in/near Esher), I do believe some folk not from London or its suburbs may actually use them for their work or employment. Some from within London may even need them for social or work reasons outside.

Guys like farmers, or those who need to tow stuff (like our caravanning ex - not the best example, as she liked flying too much - Enviro Minister!), and even yummy mummys who live down pitted roads and/or need to do the school run with a bevvy of kids on car share. Or those with bad backs. Or who can't get over traffic calming measures without scraping off the exhaust. Or the police. Or Highways patrols. Then there's the military. Or Ray Mears.

Thing is, if they're not made in volume, they may not get made at all, so short of concreting over the planet (which I know the DPM is/has done in your neck of the woods, bud with luck not yet in ours) there are some places they can have a function:)

That said, if the only use they have is to bump up a pavement in SoHo then you're bang on.

But... maybe some folk can't afford two cars, or think that it's un-eco to own more than one and need to opt for the one that does all tasks. It kinda defeats the object to have a 4x4 and Aston but lob up in a Prius when the protestors are out front, eh, HRH?

So careful when you use a Humvee to crush a Fiat Panda. Or a Prius rather than a Lexus Hybrid to try and pull a stump. Or even a Prius to burn up the motorway all day lugging a battery about.

You may just run over some of those you'd like onside for support with the bigger picture.

Aiyeeeeeeah!

This is a word. Seriously.

To my shame it is about the only one I learned in 8 years in Hong Kong, but boy is it a goody onomatopoeically (and I know my spelling is not up to it, so we'll see how the spellcheck manages). Basically, it is Cantonese for 'Oh. My. Gawd'.

Which means it is pretty much not the right dialect for this piece, but kinda is all that I can think of to say about it: China to pass US greenhouse gas levels by 2010.

Now what's 'A 4x4's2muchxFar' in Mandarin? Fortunately, I believe '4' sounds like 'death', so we may be in with a chance. Mind you, even if they all stick with the Raleigh Choppers to work, the whole 50 airports, belching steel mills thing may screw the carbon levels a tad.

Democracy in action?

Sorry, this is not a lot about the environment, but as it does involve those who are - in theory - guiding us through the future problems and opportunities we all face, there is something of a link to be made.

When the Farepak affair broke, I was suitably surprised that in this well-regulated (well, one out of two ain't bad) country such a thing could come to pass, and highly sympathetic to the queues of folk sitting on breakfast TV couches wiping a teary eye that their T&ATT (turkey and all the trimmings) was now firmly invested (and out of reach) in half a dozen bricks of a company director's Fulham des res. Ain't the law wonderful?

But, at the time, I remember thinking that after what the Chancellor pulled with our pensions, it was quite a risk to give folk a wad of dosh and not get anything in return for a long, long while.

Seems I was not alone. This from the Telegraph: How to nearly choke on your cornflakes

I can't think of any occasion when I'd be thrilled by the sight of Gordon Brown in the morning, but his breakfast television appearance yesterday, when he called for compensation for Farepak savers (the bust Christmas club) was too much for Ros Altmann. "It made my blood boil," fumes the London School of Economics governor, who has campaigned for 125,000 company pension members whose policies have collapsed. How can he pose as the savers' friend when his taxes have helped destroy not just one Christmas but every Christmas for so many?" Could it be that the Farepak victims are largely Scots whose votes might be needed in May? Surely not.

However, as one whose Xmas extravaganza is going to be quite modest this year, I hope it is not too churlish to wonder why such as Sainsburys and Morrisons (whose fine establishments I have supported on occasion over the years) are going to respond to various Scots pols' exhortations to compensate the victims of a dodgy business/political/legislative triumverate, and not me and my family for all the dodgy deals that have gone sour in our lives?

Addendum. Comment on fallout in Telegraph
Addendum. This one I liked: Hoist by their own Pol-tard

Baked couch potatoes

You may not be using much as you slump in front of the console of your game, but it is. And some more than others... or not. This from the Guardian, and my reply:

This is why I love blogs. And am so frustrated by them.

I pounced on this because I thought to myself, 'ey up, this looks like a worthy addition to our (Junkk.com) section on home electronics, and folk can not only decide on bells and whistles, but eco-considerations for gaming consoles, too.

But then I read on. And what was up was down. And black was white. Who was the genuine tester of juice consumption, and who was the PR agency for a) Microsoft, b) Sony or c) Nintendo?

Now I do have one of those energy meters, but all I have is an XBox, which doubtless is not as good as a 360. And I certainly cannot afford to buy the others to do a comparison and/or review. In any case I get blown up before the chip has come out of hibernate, so it wouldn't be apples vs. apples anyway.

Sod it.

I guess I'll just trust Pish & Slashdot for now.

Or watch this space a bit longer to see what next transpires. Sheesh.

I think'll I just watch people play footy. Or... play it myself!

Your tax £ at work

Golly. Who'd have thunk? This hoot from the Daily Mail. I had to pitch in.

And how much from the public purse will be forked out to him, the geniuses that put him in, the ones who got him out (sideways promotions and gold-plated pensions all round!), the various interested parties in debating and pursuing both sides of what I'm sure will be a long a protracted case (including, one presumes, with no small sense of irony, the missus of the guy he was protecting) with much offence to be taken all round? Plus of course, those who will wallow in the reporting (and drumming up) of same.

Lunatics. Asylum (cripes, don't let's get started on another thread!) anyone?

Gordon, we need another tax initiative to fund this, quick!

So how much from your chip & bin fine will go to reuse, and how much to the Plod who nicks you's early retirement on account of the stress of smelly bin diving?

Taking Sides

I wish we were not so strapped as to be pinching pennies left and right, especially when it comes to good intel.

Because I would dearly love to have read the full text of this piece in the Indy: Dominic Lawson: The dangers of crying wolf over the climate

Moving swiftly on from the observation that he gets paid to say what I have been banging on about for years, at least it's nice to see that the paper can entertain views that are not so slavish as to render the cause less effective.

Into the valley of dead box tickers, went the optimistic innovator (again)

I don't think you can do this with RSS feeds, as I believe you get served what they think you'll like.

Because I was having a little trawl in the Telegraph, and off to one side was a contest.

Well, we know I'm a glutton for punishment, so it should come as no surprise that I decided to have a look despite it having the words 'Innovation Awards' in there, which has not proven to be the most fruitful use of my time of late, what with us apparently not being deemed very innovative or much to do with making a social or enviromental difference and all.

But I think I may just give it one last try...

ps: Couldn't resist the irony of this being headed by an ad dragging you off on a cheap skiing holiday. If the snow is melting around you, ponder that one as you fly home.

DIYD2

That's my new acronym, which stands for 'Damned if you do. Damned if you don't'.

And I introduce it having read this: 'Give Children hats to save on heating'.

Now, I'm no great fan of npower (try ecotricity!), but what the heck is all this about?

And at risk of being a pot to other's kettles, what are these critics actually saying? That no one can suggest ways to reduce heating bills? I seem to recall a lot of stuff flying about on dropping the thermostat and wearing a jummy. But a pair of socks and a beanie is going too far?

I'm sure their hearts are in the right places, and if there wan't such stuff they wouldn't have much to do, but I'd just love to know who pays these guys to come up with this nonsense. Oh, let me think... it's probably us.

Those who can, do.. if someone doesn't try to stop them

Still getting my feet under the table. For once I have decided to pick up with 'now' rather than worry about 'then' first, though I do hope to post on a few bits from my jaunt last week.

This one was too good not to share: Beware, reading this could really get your goat

It was the first one about charging the guy landfill tax for using waste to create a wetland reserve that really stuck home.

Of course there are those who will say (isn't that neat media speak for 'I'm going to ask this but don't want to be held accountable for the question') that it's easy to highlight the few such travesties that will inevitably occur.

But frankly it happens too often to be anything but a concern, and a trend to watch with horror. I don't see it reversing. How could it? The desire to cover one's backside is creating ever more backside coverers, whose first instinct is inevitably to make their mark by covering more backsides. Will we end up with a culture entirely composed of those who monitor and restrict those who try to do stuff, only to find there are none left to impose upon?

I applaud the media for highlighting this. But I do criticise for the manner. It has become a quick harrumph and a snigger. I very much doubt anything changed as a result of these idoicies being spotlighted. No names shamed. In fact I'm sure those responsible for the one I mention above are now Heads of Policy for some new quango... and doubtless at a conference on global warming in Bali as I write.

A Stern Warning

Well, I'm back! Missed me?

And if my in-box is anything to go by, I certainly have missed a heck of a lot while I was cut off in the wilds of Scotland these last several days.

It would appear that we have yet another report to get everyone excited (the Stern one, and I am not going to claim that my quick headline was by any means the first to make that pun). I think I gave up counting at 30 the number of press releases and/or comments from every quarter in my in-box. So I guess I should read it.

What would have been nice is that if anyone, anywhere, had anything new to say, especially anything positive or helpful. Hence I don't propose to cite any URLs here*. Type 'Stern' into Google and watch your browser explode.

On Sunday morning I was watching some religious programme on the Beeb, which as far as I could gather was making a theological pitch for the whole global warming debate. Fair enough; it's all getting rather apocalyptic.

Trouble is, like usual, the two guests I caught were straight out of the 'let's throw two polar opposites in the ring and see what repels most' school of media ratings hype. So we had some chubby yuppy capitalist in a suit saying the usual 'Why bother recycling', and the equally inevitable Earth-mother activist shaking her head and getting agitated.

As Corporal Fraser would say in Dad's Army, if this is all that we can manage... 'We're all doomed, I tell ye... doomed!'.

*OK, I changed my mind. I watched 'Have I Got News For You' the same night and it was mighty funny on this issue. Trouble is, they were mighty funny becuase they couldn't make head nor tail of it all and decided it was best to laugh it off.

That is of course one way. Here is a slightly more digestible form I've come across in the Guardian (potential editorial agenda noted) the next day, so we can try and, oo, I don't know... deal with it?

The Empires strike

As this is based on a story - Speed camera fines used to buy plasma TVs and T-shirts - about speed cameras, you may wonder what it is doing here.

Well, for a start, I am about to leave for a week's writer's retreat (time to brush up on the day job skills) in Inverness, and as I journey to the far North my Road Angel will have pride of place on the dash, allowing me to look at the road and not obsess about staying within a few mph of a limit.

But mostly it is the point about how these quangos spend their money, which does resonate with our experience.

One could, just, accept that revenues generated by such things do help if they are ploughed back into improving matters on the ground. But they simply are not.

Be it an EU fund or fine-related income, the vast percentage goes to creating and maintaining empires that benefit none but those within them. Offices (head and regional). Salaries (it's easy to be not for profit when you blow a bundle on a six figure board). Pensions. But then there is the creeping trend towards self-promotion. Massive amounts on propaganda to justify their existences.

And this I think is where we at Junkk.com suffer, especially when applying for support. We too are communicating. And that rains on some cosy parades.

Maybe now our rates are going through the roof (that we just insulated, thereby improving the desireability of the property and hence its value), they can divert some of the money to, oo, I don't know, catching dangerous, uninsured drivers?

Judging the judges?

It's my version of 'watching the detectives'. Who are these people? What qualifies them?

Of course, it may not just be the judges; it can also, or instead, be the judging process. What pressures exist from sponsors and organisers?

It has not been a good week for awards applications.

On top of the disappointment with the UnLtd. funding, I stumbled across the shortlist for the Green Awards. We're not on it.

This was a surprise, as I hadn't realised there was a shortlist. Does this mean that there was some preselection? If so, I was not aware of it when I entered. Also the categories seem to have changed since I applied. And while the previous awards were simply a waste of time, these ones also involved money.

There is a temptation to shrug and let things pass. There are those immortal words 'the judges decision is final', closely followed by 'no correspondence will be entertained.' But did the judges even see what was entered. Or was my nemesis in life and business, the gatekeeper, again at work?

But this brings me back to process. As with the Big idea, what was it that got me from a good chance to an also ran? Especially as, in the case of the SKY effort, I started the day with three thumbs up, and I now know that a few of those who got through only had one or two, and a rough ride. What other factors were at play?

This one is worth pursuing as far as I can take it.

I have tracked down some of the shortlisted efforts. A few are not bad. But in the categories I applied for, B2B DM, B2C DM and copy (for the Folda Holda), I'd have to say, totally subjectively, that our entries were pretty good in comparison, both creatively, and especially environmentally. For heaven's sake, this is a green award and in all these cases we had a reusable concept where the rest were volumes of guff destined for the recycling bin. And they claim it is all about 'creativity'.

And along the way, the below £100k classification, which we most certainly met, seems to have been dropped. So all of a sudden we're mixed in with large wadges of wonga being thrown at the wall in the hope of hitting some target.

But with bitter irony, as I post this I am also sending off my entry to the next set of awards. At least one, the Webbys, has a cheap category (rather worryingly called 'Weird'), which I only realised having racked up bout $3k (hurriedly deleted) ticking all the other relevant boxes to Junkk.com's function, and the other, Technology for Marketing, is free and none too time consuming.

Breath is now being held.

Why can Greens be good for you? This!

There's odd. There's silly. There's hypocritical. There's barking. And, to quote Douglas Adams in Hitch-hikers Guide, there's 'First against the wall when the revolution comes'.

I don't usually do e-petitions. I have now. Do join in. We may even save some time, save some money... and the planet (now where have I heard that before? Which is more than I can say for this petition. It will be interesting to see if it crops up in the major media. If not, thank you Green MEPs!)

Limited UnLtd.

Well, that's one Press Release I don't have to write, I guess.

Just back to a letter saying I was not going to get the money I'd applied for from the UnLtd. Millennium Awards Trust (the Guardian thing, or maybe not).

I'm obviously more than disappointed, but not too surprised.

It started so well. A fund that was designed to encourage social entrepreneurship. Better yet, with the money apparently not meant for buying kit or consultants, but supposedly to be paid directly to the individual in recognition that to start such enterprises takes time and effort which can eat in to earning a living with the day job.

I guess I should have seen what was coming. For a start having been vetted through the first round, I was required to take a whole day off to be briefed on making the application. Fair enough. But having fought my way up to Birmingham, I was less than thrilled to spend most of the day sitting watching a guy read his own PowerPoint presentation out to us. Even less so that all the topics had already been covered in the forms I'd submitted to get through the first round. But hey ho, met a few nice folk and had a free lunch. Whatever floats their box-ticking boat and consumes the money they cream off to fund the office, directors, pensions, etc, to dole this largesse out.

The most encouraging part was actually at the start of the day, when the big cheese leapt in to make his speech, which was suitably 'ra-ra', but did end with him saying that any of us who had commissioned professional awards application consultants should fire them now.. 'because we want to get a feel for the real you'. As a creative person struggling in a sea of suits and red tape, this was music to my ears.

It was also a load of b*****cks.

I was actually impressed and grateful that we got to pre-submit our application to assess whether it was pushing the requisite buttons. Except that it was like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. If I was from Mars, the guy at the other end was from Uranus. He just couldn't see where I was coming from and I certainly couldn't see how he could not see what I saw as obvious. Friends in the corporate world tried to help, and certainly must have improved matters from my original: 'It's too passionate'. 'It's so you, but without knowing you that might put the men in grey off'. Fair do's. But I thought they wanted the real me.

They didn't. I have had my 'Dear Peter' letter. Several days work down the tubes.

I write this to vent, but also to make note to investigate further on all these cash sinks on the public purse. What is supported? Why? What happens to the money?

It's not really sour grapes. I just wanted the dough. And the PR would have been good on top.

But I'm afraid what really pushed my buttons was the cc'd form letter 'that recognised all the hard work' and 'to assist with future applications outlined the reasons I was not successful':

'The project proposal does not demonstrate that it has the potential to become sustainable or that significant social impact or social change will be delivered.

As to the former, I am just starting out and need help. That is why I am applying. I could lie through my teeth but gave my best shot at what had happened and could happen. Looking at others who have succeeded, and some that will doubtless get this grant, I can only wonder at the level of awards and major media coverage they will get that we already are, along with unique visitors in the hundreds of thousands.

As to the latter, this statement makes as much sense as the one that was used in the rejection letter from a Creative Innovation award from our early days: 'You are trying to do something that has not been proven before, in a way that we could not fully grasp', ie: too creatively innovative.

And what, precisely, could be any more socially significant, impactful and changing than getting the general public on board with re:using stuff to save the planet because they want to, as opposed to recycling because they're forced or shamed to?

Sigh.

Conspicuous Consumer Consumption

BBC Newsnight got into the whole 4x4xfarce issue last night with a piece that was pretty cynical about the motivations and the maths used by councils and enviro-advocates of the parking policy. I of course had add to my previous post and weigh in:

"Interesting piece. And some interesting facts. Shame these days I have no way of knowing which are true. Is the enviro-cost of making a new car 5% or 25%? That's a heck of a span to try and factor into a running, e-cost & purchase decision. As to the parking plan, let me get this straight. The proposal is to tax the vehicle, which may be moving, but most likely more often than not won't be. Meanwhile, there will be no disincentive for buzzing about all day using a 'green' vehicle, say an electric car, much beloved of many an authoritative spokesperson, which apparently 'causes no pollution'. Only the exhaust pipe is in another place, and the 'fuel' transfer system is not awfully efficient. And if I am convinced, and can find the funds for a new car (not all of us can drum up a Prius' worth - and as a country/motorway driver lugging a battery around doesn't seem optimal anyway- that quickly), where exactly does my perfectly good old car end up? I rather suspect it will still be used elsewhere, still popping CO2 skywards somewhere on the planet (though on my reuse website someone did once suggest turning them into saunas. I wonder if that's where Ming's, Dave's and all the other Gov-guzzlers ended up?) So now we've generated an extra car and both are belching out greenhouse gasses. Brilliant. ps: This is not anti-environment. Anything but. I just want to know the truth so I can make the best decisions for myself, my family and the planet."

A Better Mousetrap?

I'm rather chuffed with myself. And, more importantly, with Junkk.com.

I was in the kitchen last night making a cuppa, and as the kettle boiled I looked at the plug, the socket, the device I've been making out of old milk bottles for my Mum... and then back at the milk bottle.

With pride, I introduce the Plug:Jug. It even has colour coding courtesy of the lid.

Evolution is a wonderful thing. Shame I can't make money out of it.

Would you go somewhere that couldn't cope with you?

Firing away left and right, I decided to contribute to this: Stop wailing for the post office and put some life back in your village
"Now privy to facts I was not aware of previously, I can concede that the business model of the village (or small town) Post Office is shakier than I thought. However, with no real evidence to offer than my own experience, I must say that there can be a bit more going on than retirement or leisure. Thanks to an energetic campaign, our small community found itself with broadband more than a few years ago, and I'd like to think this has resulted in an influx or newer, younger and more environmentally-concerned businesses. I like my kids to breathe clean air, do not like to travel if I can help it, and am quite happy to do most I can online if at all possible. However, the odd pack needs to go out in the mail, just as they come in. Pity to lose that. Rather than whinging, I am actively trying to build community links, not just here but nationally, around the odd notion that local businesses and the population can benefit from profitable integrations surrounding reuse."

There was also the small matter that I could take a punt.

But this is a big issue. I reckon we're at a watershed in commuting, and frankly the only direction seems to be to stay at home. But like so many things, if the infrastructure is not in place to cope, why would anyone try?

4x4xfarce

The proposal by a London borough to tax 'polluting' vehicles, as opposed to the causes of pollution (they can be different - 100 miles in a badly tuned G-reg Mini may not be as good as 10 in a Cayenne) has attracted my attention.

And as they allow uncensored posts, I decided to make known my views in the Guardian. As follows:

"Let me get this straight. The proposal is to tax the vehicle, which may be moving, but most likely more often than not won't be. Meanwhile, there will be no disincentive for buzzing about all day using a 'green' vehicle, such as an electric car, much beloved of many a gushing TV presenter or authoritative official, which apparently 'causes no pollution'. Only the exhaust pipe is in another place, and the 'fuel' transfer system is not awfully efficient. Brilliant."

Would one care for a deep fried Mars bar, Old Boy?

Another (re:lated) industry, another bit of self-analysis with a question mark at the end: Time to ask: how green is your tally?

And I again I have been moved to reply:

Excuse me as I put down my latte. I must say that is a more colourful at least figuratively) expression the one we have adopted, which is the more literal 'green lite'. I thank you for a most interesting article, and some worthwhile leads for us to pursue. It's a bit of a shame that most of the effort in this area (at least there is some now) is at the upper, some my say 'luxury' end of the market. But still a red Razr is still a new mobile coming on stream, though one can hope that we have many avenues now for the discarded model to be disposed of fruitfully. And equally, a Prius is great, so long as it is not in addition to another model, or used outside of the urban environment (on a motorway the engine is lugging a dirty great big battery). And there are those who do care about the planet, would like to do something, but may not have the disposables to whack a wind turbine up this weekend, or the clout with the local council to push it through. So we see another great area of opportunity in the Fiesta Family. And just to see how even big business can get on board, see what ecover have done on our site. They not only uploaded their entire range, but hired two designers to bolt ideas on. At no real cost to themselves, they added second use and another reason to buy. That's real, responsible.. and the potential for a new extra market.

Junkk Male on Junk Mail

An interesting question, posed from within the marketing industry: Time to ask: how green is your tally?

To which I felt moved to offer this reply:

It's a tricky one. But it's worth bearing in mind that not all that's green can be black or white. I must confess a degree of schizophrenia here. On the one hand I operate a website, Junkk.com, which advocates ways of saving the planet, whilst my day job is as a freelance creative, of which DM is a bread and butter part. In fact, my first agency client was the DMSB, and it was I who pushed them to actually use targeted DM rather than DPS's in Campaign to sell their message, a move applauded by all except media sales guys. Even our own business uses the odd (well-targeted, one prays... these babies are expensive) mailshot to stand a better chance of getting through to our audience. E-mails simply don't get through, and my cold calling technique seldom gets past Tracey on Reception, much less Mrs. Miggins with her IBM Selectric on gatekeeper duty. Even should I pass the 'Hooshudisazcallin?' test, I usually fall at 'Does s/he know what it's about?'. Thing is, like everything in this contentious arena, I do wonder whether there are some areas being unfairly singled out against a much bigger picture. Don't get me wrong, I truly loathe an in-tray full of A5 bank invitations which start 'We know you are a busy man..' or magazine DL sign-up exhortations splatted with 'As a loyal customer, just you in this area has..', and consign all to the bin unread, and hence wasted in totality. Sadly, I have to concede they must work as a business model, otherwise they would not be sent. But then, what about the newspaper that has a raft of sections I neither want nor read? Style inserts with the reporter gushing over some lovely in a fur bikini (is fur in or out this week?) from a show in Bali. Ironically usually in a section twice removed from the one muttering the carbon content of unnecessary air miles? Which brings me to a further consideration: the next big thing to the necessary evil of our desire to travel may be biofuels, on the basis that they are carbon neutral. Could one not therefore argue that so long as the raw materials are from managed, renewable (and maybe recycling is not the best option here, as Mr. Baker has indicated) resources, then the greenery in question is acting as a similar compensatory sink for the paper industry. Me, I'll keep on producing our DM with a clear conscience on this basis. Accepting we do have to communicate, so reduction is not an option, but at least so far all we have produced gets reused. I'll send you a sample if you like (by email of course, to see if you'd like it hard copy).

My Four Frames of Fame II

Watching Sunday's episode of SKY's Big Idea was like being back at the British Invention Show, as many of the contestants had been fellow exhibitors.

This time it was filmed at Imperial College, but not the day we were there, so I believe I'm right in thinking that we should be 'due' in two weeks' time.

I did get featured again, and it wasn't bad. Their theme on this occasion was motivations, and I was aired explaining how Junkk.com could save time, money and the planet. The voiceover was flip but at least said it was an impressive aim.

The show was pretty much identical to the last. The Judges were kind to the contestants, but not to each other. And Richard Bacon was again quite incisive in his questions and doubts on an idea's validity. And this time, 'tester' Dick strawberries actually found flaw in a few.

As to the ideas, well, I'm afraid I saw no 'Big Idea'. I can't duplicate with Junkk.com the electronic ones, but two are entirely doable, and so I will try to make them up for next time.

Meanwhile here's last week's winner, which I knocked up at the show with a milk bottle and cutter in about 5 minutes. For free.

Bright Idea. Dim View?

Well, just back from the British Invention Show.

Four days. Not too short; not too long. Met some nice folk, both fellow exhibitors and also visitors. On balance, probably a good thing I went.

First up... Junkk.com got bronzed! Yep, despite being more of 'an idea that helps other people have ideas', we actually snagged a bronze award.

Secondly, we got some coverage, in the Indy no less. Shame they forgot to mention the site URL, though. Thanks guys! But A LOT better than nothing, I'd say.

Best yet, my actual Junkk-inspired, for-money invention got a lot of thumbs up from a lot of quarters, including the Patent Office reps (sweet to come back to the forms I filed before I left already endorsed and sitting on my doormat), some very hard-nosed judges, some patent agents and some licensing advisors.

Downsides? Well, it was more money, and a precious four days away from base. Perhaps the biggest downer was not realising that there was a £10 entry fee, and that kinda snookered the vast hordes of public I needed to boost the sign-ups. But I guess quality is better than quantity. And I think I may have made some good new chums who can plug into the Junkk ethos and help spread the word and even generate some content.

I think I have a busy week ahead. A lot piled up while I was away.

My four frames of fame (so far)

Well, they do say fame is fleeting. There must be a better way to do this (MySpace...YouTube?), but here are four screen grabs (pretty much equating to my time on air) from the SKY Big Idea trailer.

The sky is falling,.. and the footsie with it

I share this - The consensus view is frequently very wrong indeed - not because I agree or disagree with it (frankly, as mentioned a lot before, I really don't think a lot of this debate is relevant any more, and am not really qualified to make any better interpretations than anyone else really is), but because it does contain information that I presume to be true, and hence is worth sharing.

I also think that the green juggernaut is getting pretty much a free ride at the moment, and as there are some rather serious economic consequences to a lot of what's being done in the planet's name, a certain balance is always worth encouraging.

Losing from the experience

To keep Junkk.com ticking over in the manner to which it is accustomed, I need to maintain the day job, which is writing. Actually, such is my devotion to the site I have been neglecting this so much that I a) forgot to do it for a while, b) found that money does not grow on rubbish (yet) and c) it's who you no longer know that matters. So, just to add to the workload, I've been hunting for work.

It has not proven easy, and as I have a pretty good portfolio and track record, the simple fact that no one seems interested in seeing the former and asking me how the latter could be applied to their business, I can only assume one reason is that I am no spring chicken any more.

Which is why I have found all this age legislation that just came in a bit of a lark. On the face of it, a pretty good thing if my suspicions are true. But as they can still ask you your age, short of someone saying, in writing (should they be polite enough to do so in reply), that 'as you remember when Tom Baker was Dr. Who, you are way too experienced, and certainly not the shaved-skull hipster we expect to be snowboarding down our aisles, so forget being a part of this dynamic, young agency...'.

Only they will not be saying that at all: Dynamism won't get you a job here

Actually, as a writer I found it all rather silly more than sad. How many of the now outlawed terms meant anything anyway? Would you expect, or want, a slow-learner, non-starter, non-flyer, undynamic or unambitious person to apply? And if they did, would you find a way to not hire them?

As for experienced, well... yes, but it rather depends in what. I would still appreciate the opportunity to explain and present in person.

Reality Bites

An interesting dissection of the state of the football 'profession' after a recent game in the paper this morning: The Beautiful Game is now a celebritocracy

I'm not quite sure where he's been for the last few years not to have noticed until now (and I think the headline may have gained from the substitution of the word 'just' for now), but I was moved to comment:

"It's not just football, I'm afraid... it's everything."

As seen on Junkk.com

I have just watched the first episode of The Big Idea with a slew of contradictory feelings.

By way of a prequel to these, I rather suspect that if we do get featured at all (there was almost nothing of those that didn't make it to the studio semis beyond a few microsecond fillers) it will be in three weeks' time. This is based on two Manchester and two London heats, and we were the last. In fact as I write I just saw myself as a nanosecond filler, sped up to make it even quicker, and it could have been worse. I did look barking, which I guess is my niche.

Another thing that stuck me was just how irrelevant the £100k prize is in the overall scheme of things. Even the filler ads from Vodafone would probably have cost more than that per version. Anyway, back to the show...

First up, there was a huge sigh of relief that there was not too much by way of car crash, at least in terms of contestant humiliation. That said, the judges, who were on the whole quite polite and supportive of even their non-proteges, were often pretty tense with each other. And, for good measure, main host Richard Bacon. I actually quite took to him, as he was trying to question some possible shortcomings from a viewer perspective, and some of his critiques were pretty relevant.

However, I am still disappointed that we are not going to enjoy at least the level of coverage that these semi-finalists did. Even if they don't go any further, the invention did get a good airing. And now, here's the sour-grapey bit. As was commentedd upon several times by the panel, I really did not see anything 'BIG'.

Most interestingly, of those three that 'got through' to the evening's final count, I could duplicate two at least, almost instantly, using Junkk.com. One, the 'Message in a Bauble', I have done right now. The evening's winner, while a nifty idea, I had already done for my mum using a piece of plastic from ann ice-cream carton. Stupid me for not thinking of making anything more of it. I will work it up soon. The third, an educational system, is another easily duplicated Junkk.com collection of items, and we are of course looking at bringing our own packaged programme to the educational system.

On balance, no down sides on the horizon, but a certain frustration that we will not get the positive of proper exposure for all the effort.

Still, worth staying on top of. The URL is thebigidea.tv. Tomorrow I'll have a roam on this site to see what's what.

The Big Idea. A Big Opportunity.. Or A Big Mistake?

Covering my bases here. Tonight sees the first screening of the Big idea on SKY.

And as I fell at the first televised hurdle it may be our brief moment in the sun (though there were several heats which may be spread over the subsequent weeks).

Can't say I am not both full of anticipation and a pack of nerves.

The film crew were encouraging and even the judges most receptive. But I was chatting the other day to someone who knows a recent Dragon's Den contestant, and what happened vs. what they managed to edit it to look like was not very nice. Fingers crossed we'll come across sympathetically.

With luck it will add to our PR efforts and not detract. I guess if you don't try you'll never know.

It's not who you know, but who you owe (or don't?).

Just asking, so's I can get this straight.

Ignoring for now that the amount in dollars would tend to indicate the savings may not be solely within these fair shores, how much did 'we' contribute so 'they' could save it?

It's just that I recall this was raised a while ago, and never heard an answer.

While I'm the last to get sniffy about funding, especially on the small matter of paybacks, why does a major multi-million multinational fmcg need help of this nature in the first place? I must move in the wrong circles.

The most abused word in English (currently)?

I like this question mark lark. Or rather, perhaps I should say: is this question mark lark the new black?

No? Well, if it isn't, I reckon the word 'innovate' (and its various nouns, etc) is.

It just crops up everywhere. In this case it's an ad for a job. But it could be a fund, or a policy or whatever.

Thing is, as far as I can make out, as soon as you see that word the last thing anyone connected with it actually wants to find turning up on the doorstep is anything actually innovative. Because, by definition, it hasn't bee seen or done or heard of before. Which is scary, when you have a career based on measuring, assessing, gatekeeping, valuing and backside-covering to protect.

And I keep getting suckered. I get told that what's being looked for is a new way of thinking, or that they want to break the mould, or they need a fresh mind, and when I go off and craft something that's on brief but off-beat, they go all 'but that's not what we're used to getting' on me.

I actually applied for a Creative Innovation grant once, and having spent days on it was rather disappointed that my proposal wasn't favoured. The reason? It was too creative and innovative. That'll teach me. At least it should have.

Money for nothing, but the drinks are... being toasted in ad land!

I am jealous. I figured out a while ago that there was money to be made in them thar green hills.

But rather than stick with what I knew, which was ads, I got into publishing, because I wanted to make a difference as well.

So far, it's still a struggle, but glimmers are showing.

However, as a creative person and ex-agency owner, I weep at the amount of money being poured into CSR ads... with few making sense to me, let alone seeming intended to make a real difference. Anyone recall AIDAR? That's Grab (Attention) - Stimulate (Interest &/Or) Desire - Provoke (Action/Response)!

TVCs, DPS and Full and Half-page 4c extravaganzas with production costs alone in the 10s if not 100's or thousands, all in media that add millions to the budget, and saying what.. to whom?

I love the discipline of posters. Eight words or less, complemented by a picture, to tell a story. Yes, copy can be necessary to add to the sales pitch.

But what, exactly, do you get from 'Taking the lead by putting nature first?" Note the ? I guess they are not sure.

Or, how about "If someone says environment, what springs to mind?" Er, green stuff. Pretty picture. Turn the page. I'm sure they have challenges, but may day gets better how?

Gis' some, please. And we'll even rewrite them for nothing actually talk to a targeted audience plus have a benefit that may provoke a response, too.

You never know, you may sell something, too. I assume that's what they're for?

It just won't... should be washed

I'm mucking about with self-promo at the moment. All electronic obviously, for reasons of cost but mainly we don't have anyone's addresses, and of course we'd like to keep the junk mail burden to a minimum.

But we do accept that some is necessary. Marketing and jobs depend on it. I also enjoy a good piece of DM if it's well targeted, creative and useful.

Which brings me to mail washing. I'm on my own now. So while I don't mind getting something for me, it does strike one as frustrating when you get multiples. Now I've just noticed on this there is a way to cancel the duds, and it is an 0800 number so I hope it's free. Frankly I'd prefer a URL, and a simple code-based deletion system, like an online unsubscribe. But here's a laugh.. I just dialed it - 0800 15 14 14 - and.. it doesn't work. So the next option is to .. send it back by mail! D'Oh.

Maybe.... we should draw up a central service to make these things work properly. Like the e/F/TPS, but not to stop such things, but manage them centrally. A plan?

ps: These all came as you see them. Flapping about with no plastic sleeve. How was that possible, and why can't the rest do it?

My esteemed self

I think I've got it wrong, but a friend recently gave me the definition of an 'expert' as 'a has been who is little more than a drip'.

I was (poorly, obviously) reminded of this by one of the flood (well, a few - another 3rd party service now under review) of replies to a press release I did to the nation's media regarding our upcoming show and what we'll have on display.

Naturally this was not someone buying, but in this case selling... the opportunity to sell me as an 'expert' when the media need a quick bon mot or quote.

I have to say I was, and am, tempted. But I did call them up to say I was not really an expert, but more an well-informed and opinionated sod. 'Perfect,' they said.

Due flattery (and a sale) aside, I am thinking of proceeding. Obviously there is the opportunity for coverage, but so long as I clearly outline where I am coming from (and this gets accepted and acknowledged by the media... another story) I think there is a case for a bit of consumer advocacy that is not 'expert', and proud to be so.

Because most experts fall into camps, and while this makes for good slanging matches, it does not serve the large number of us who really don't know, but are able to arrive at some kind of a decision (even if it is not black or white) if enough 'What if's' are thrown in.

Of course, there is the down side.

But, by George, damn the torpedoes... I think I'll do it!

Stealing from Peter to pay Pa.. Who, Exactly?

Why doesn't this - Row over renewable energy scheme - surprise me?

"A promised £10m to help fund projects like wind power... [but] it has emerged schemes to promote double-glazing and insulation are to be cut to fund it."

Do what!!!? This is huge. And if a BBC environement correspodent comes flat out and criticised it, then everyone knows it.

Classic case of hype winning over what's right. Nil points.

How to succeed in the UK: leave!

Last night I attended a talk held in our very own little town, by a true giant of British Innovation and Manufacturing, Edwin Atkin. It was he who created, developed, built-up and eventually sold the Avent brand.

For a man just past 60 who is now worth a few hundred million £, and fresh from dinner with David Cameron the night before, he was truly charming, fascinating, honest, opinionated and indeed earthy at times. I was inspired, but also slightly depressed.

In a broad-ranging, note-free lecture indispersed with several Q&As, he laid out how he succeeded and how he thought others could still. But it came with some less than thrilling predictions and rather startling advice. His adventures with authorities, banks and the like had us in stitches, especially when he could turn the tables on someone who thought they could stop him or rip him off and tell 'em to 'stick it where de sun don't shine'. Often that took a lot of moral and indeed financial courage, despite his obvious security as a businessman, both personally and financially. He is one of the few who I believe when they say 'that's not how I do businesss' (when referring to sharp practice). Make no mistake, he is no softy, and is as sharp as a knife, but he is also someone who retains a sense of honour (and humour) and knows that making a difference does not need to mean abandoning your principles and simply making all you can, as quickly as you can.

He is now semi-retired, and one reason is the erosion of the entrepreneurial spirit by PC mania and bean counters in authority and businesss. He effectively got out before the going gets more tricky. Not good for the likes of me, but he remained encouraging to keep trying. The other shocker was the simple advice to leave the UK to do it. That doesn't mean abandoning it as a market, but to stop thinking of it as the main focus. His gaze was cast West to the USA. This is potentially momentous, but having lived and worked around the globe, I share his belief that this country internally has a remarkably overrated view of itself. Trouble is, this is where my family is, and hopping on a plane to Chicago is not quite an option at the moment.

Worse, other than the opportunity to share such an evening in convivial and intimate surroundings, I am not exactly in networking central. His advice to that was 'get out more'. Well, as he kindly said 'please get in touch', I most certainly will. Who knows who he may be able to introduce me to to get us the business complement we need. Too late for the British Invention Show next week I suspect, but with luck a great possible contact and maybe even mentor for the future.

To CO too, or not to CO too... that is the question?

CO stands for 'carbon offset'.

And here I wish we could afford to stump up for every paid subscription that may lead to a rich seam. But sadly, we can't, so I'll just have to use the tantalising first few paras of this piece, like my own, headlined as a question, to wonder about the wisdom of a certain practice: Are carbon offsets an excuse to carry on polluting?

The short answer is, and without being able to read on I'm no better informed from this piece (not their fault), I don't really know.

The theme being taken above is that it simply becomes a way to not feel guilty about doing something, and hence you just keep on doing it. Which can't be good, especially when that is punting goop into the atmosphere in pursuit of la dolce vita. But on the other hand, if those that do it will do it anyway, then at least whacking a fir in a desert to compensate may be better than nothing. Unless it dies of course. Then it's worse.

My greater concern is that, despite being perhaps more immersed than most in the whole e-arena, I am really none the wiser as to what these schemes are, how they work, who runs them, who monitors them, etc. A bit like some of the 'give your mobile/ink cartridge.. to us and we'll help charity schemes' that abound.

And so, perhaps inaccurately, I have an odd unease that the money may not be going where it could and should, and as efficiently. How much gets sucked up in salaries, offices, pension plans and Club Class trips to Bali to discuss how awful global warming is, before the first seedling is planted or wind farm planning bri... incentive (the validity of such schemes being another mission I'm on) paid?

It gets added to a long list, but I think I'm going to try and find out.