Limited UnLtd.

Well, that's one Press Release I don't have to write, I guess.

Just back to a letter saying I was not going to get the money I'd applied for from the UnLtd. Millennium Awards Trust (the Guardian thing, or maybe not).

I'm obviously more than disappointed, but not too surprised.

It started so well. A fund that was designed to encourage social entrepreneurship. Better yet, with the money apparently not meant for buying kit or consultants, but supposedly to be paid directly to the individual in recognition that to start such enterprises takes time and effort which can eat in to earning a living with the day job.

I guess I should have seen what was coming. For a start having been vetted through the first round, I was required to take a whole day off to be briefed on making the application. Fair enough. But having fought my way up to Birmingham, I was less than thrilled to spend most of the day sitting watching a guy read his own PowerPoint presentation out to us. Even less so that all the topics had already been covered in the forms I'd submitted to get through the first round. But hey ho, met a few nice folk and had a free lunch. Whatever floats their box-ticking boat and consumes the money they cream off to fund the office, directors, pensions, etc, to dole this largesse out.

The most encouraging part was actually at the start of the day, when the big cheese leapt in to make his speech, which was suitably 'ra-ra', but did end with him saying that any of us who had commissioned professional awards application consultants should fire them now.. 'because we want to get a feel for the real you'. As a creative person struggling in a sea of suits and red tape, this was music to my ears.

It was also a load of b*****cks.

I was actually impressed and grateful that we got to pre-submit our application to assess whether it was pushing the requisite buttons. Except that it was like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. If I was from Mars, the guy at the other end was from Uranus. He just couldn't see where I was coming from and I certainly couldn't see how he could not see what I saw as obvious. Friends in the corporate world tried to help, and certainly must have improved matters from my original: 'It's too passionate'. 'It's so you, but without knowing you that might put the men in grey off'. Fair do's. But I thought they wanted the real me.

They didn't. I have had my 'Dear Peter' letter. Several days work down the tubes.

I write this to vent, but also to make note to investigate further on all these cash sinks on the public purse. What is supported? Why? What happens to the money?

It's not really sour grapes. I just wanted the dough. And the PR would have been good on top.

But I'm afraid what really pushed my buttons was the cc'd form letter 'that recognised all the hard work' and 'to assist with future applications outlined the reasons I was not successful':

'The project proposal does not demonstrate that it has the potential to become sustainable or that significant social impact or social change will be delivered.

As to the former, I am just starting out and need help. That is why I am applying. I could lie through my teeth but gave my best shot at what had happened and could happen. Looking at others who have succeeded, and some that will doubtless get this grant, I can only wonder at the level of awards and major media coverage they will get that we already are, along with unique visitors in the hundreds of thousands.

As to the latter, this statement makes as much sense as the one that was used in the rejection letter from a Creative Innovation award from our early days: 'You are trying to do something that has not been proven before, in a way that we could not fully grasp', ie: too creatively innovative.

And what, precisely, could be any more socially significant, impactful and changing than getting the general public on board with re:using stuff to save the planet because they want to, as opposed to recycling because they're forced or shamed to?

Sigh.

Conspicuous Consumer Consumption

BBC Newsnight got into the whole 4x4xfarce issue last night with a piece that was pretty cynical about the motivations and the maths used by councils and enviro-advocates of the parking policy. I of course had add to my previous post and weigh in:

"Interesting piece. And some interesting facts. Shame these days I have no way of knowing which are true. Is the enviro-cost of making a new car 5% or 25%? That's a heck of a span to try and factor into a running, e-cost & purchase decision. As to the parking plan, let me get this straight. The proposal is to tax the vehicle, which may be moving, but most likely more often than not won't be. Meanwhile, there will be no disincentive for buzzing about all day using a 'green' vehicle, say an electric car, much beloved of many an authoritative spokesperson, which apparently 'causes no pollution'. Only the exhaust pipe is in another place, and the 'fuel' transfer system is not awfully efficient. And if I am convinced, and can find the funds for a new car (not all of us can drum up a Prius' worth - and as a country/motorway driver lugging a battery around doesn't seem optimal anyway- that quickly), where exactly does my perfectly good old car end up? I rather suspect it will still be used elsewhere, still popping CO2 skywards somewhere on the planet (though on my reuse website someone did once suggest turning them into saunas. I wonder if that's where Ming's, Dave's and all the other Gov-guzzlers ended up?) So now we've generated an extra car and both are belching out greenhouse gasses. Brilliant. ps: This is not anti-environment. Anything but. I just want to know the truth so I can make the best decisions for myself, my family and the planet."

A Better Mousetrap?

I'm rather chuffed with myself. And, more importantly, with Junkk.com.

I was in the kitchen last night making a cuppa, and as the kettle boiled I looked at the plug, the socket, the device I've been making out of old milk bottles for my Mum... and then back at the milk bottle.

With pride, I introduce the Plug:Jug. It even has colour coding courtesy of the lid.

Evolution is a wonderful thing. Shame I can't make money out of it.

Would you go somewhere that couldn't cope with you?

Firing away left and right, I decided to contribute to this: Stop wailing for the post office and put some life back in your village
"Now privy to facts I was not aware of previously, I can concede that the business model of the village (or small town) Post Office is shakier than I thought. However, with no real evidence to offer than my own experience, I must say that there can be a bit more going on than retirement or leisure. Thanks to an energetic campaign, our small community found itself with broadband more than a few years ago, and I'd like to think this has resulted in an influx or newer, younger and more environmentally-concerned businesses. I like my kids to breathe clean air, do not like to travel if I can help it, and am quite happy to do most I can online if at all possible. However, the odd pack needs to go out in the mail, just as they come in. Pity to lose that. Rather than whinging, I am actively trying to build community links, not just here but nationally, around the odd notion that local businesses and the population can benefit from profitable integrations surrounding reuse."

There was also the small matter that I could take a punt.

But this is a big issue. I reckon we're at a watershed in commuting, and frankly the only direction seems to be to stay at home. But like so many things, if the infrastructure is not in place to cope, why would anyone try?

4x4xfarce

The proposal by a London borough to tax 'polluting' vehicles, as opposed to the causes of pollution (they can be different - 100 miles in a badly tuned G-reg Mini may not be as good as 10 in a Cayenne) has attracted my attention.

And as they allow uncensored posts, I decided to make known my views in the Guardian. As follows:

"Let me get this straight. The proposal is to tax the vehicle, which may be moving, but most likely more often than not won't be. Meanwhile, there will be no disincentive for buzzing about all day using a 'green' vehicle, such as an electric car, much beloved of many a gushing TV presenter or authoritative official, which apparently 'causes no pollution'. Only the exhaust pipe is in another place, and the 'fuel' transfer system is not awfully efficient. Brilliant."

Would one care for a deep fried Mars bar, Old Boy?

Another (re:lated) industry, another bit of self-analysis with a question mark at the end: Time to ask: how green is your tally?

And I again I have been moved to reply:

Excuse me as I put down my latte. I must say that is a more colourful at least figuratively) expression the one we have adopted, which is the more literal 'green lite'. I thank you for a most interesting article, and some worthwhile leads for us to pursue. It's a bit of a shame that most of the effort in this area (at least there is some now) is at the upper, some my say 'luxury' end of the market. But still a red Razr is still a new mobile coming on stream, though one can hope that we have many avenues now for the discarded model to be disposed of fruitfully. And equally, a Prius is great, so long as it is not in addition to another model, or used outside of the urban environment (on a motorway the engine is lugging a dirty great big battery). And there are those who do care about the planet, would like to do something, but may not have the disposables to whack a wind turbine up this weekend, or the clout with the local council to push it through. So we see another great area of opportunity in the Fiesta Family. And just to see how even big business can get on board, see what ecover have done on our site. They not only uploaded their entire range, but hired two designers to bolt ideas on. At no real cost to themselves, they added second use and another reason to buy. That's real, responsible.. and the potential for a new extra market.

Junkk Male on Junk Mail

An interesting question, posed from within the marketing industry: Time to ask: how green is your tally?

To which I felt moved to offer this reply:

It's a tricky one. But it's worth bearing in mind that not all that's green can be black or white. I must confess a degree of schizophrenia here. On the one hand I operate a website, Junkk.com, which advocates ways of saving the planet, whilst my day job is as a freelance creative, of which DM is a bread and butter part. In fact, my first agency client was the DMSB, and it was I who pushed them to actually use targeted DM rather than DPS's in Campaign to sell their message, a move applauded by all except media sales guys. Even our own business uses the odd (well-targeted, one prays... these babies are expensive) mailshot to stand a better chance of getting through to our audience. E-mails simply don't get through, and my cold calling technique seldom gets past Tracey on Reception, much less Mrs. Miggins with her IBM Selectric on gatekeeper duty. Even should I pass the 'Hooshudisazcallin?' test, I usually fall at 'Does s/he know what it's about?'. Thing is, like everything in this contentious arena, I do wonder whether there are some areas being unfairly singled out against a much bigger picture. Don't get me wrong, I truly loathe an in-tray full of A5 bank invitations which start 'We know you are a busy man..' or magazine DL sign-up exhortations splatted with 'As a loyal customer, just you in this area has..', and consign all to the bin unread, and hence wasted in totality. Sadly, I have to concede they must work as a business model, otherwise they would not be sent. But then, what about the newspaper that has a raft of sections I neither want nor read? Style inserts with the reporter gushing over some lovely in a fur bikini (is fur in or out this week?) from a show in Bali. Ironically usually in a section twice removed from the one muttering the carbon content of unnecessary air miles? Which brings me to a further consideration: the next big thing to the necessary evil of our desire to travel may be biofuels, on the basis that they are carbon neutral. Could one not therefore argue that so long as the raw materials are from managed, renewable (and maybe recycling is not the best option here, as Mr. Baker has indicated) resources, then the greenery in question is acting as a similar compensatory sink for the paper industry. Me, I'll keep on producing our DM with a clear conscience on this basis. Accepting we do have to communicate, so reduction is not an option, but at least so far all we have produced gets reused. I'll send you a sample if you like (by email of course, to see if you'd like it hard copy).

My Four Frames of Fame II

Watching Sunday's episode of SKY's Big Idea was like being back at the British Invention Show, as many of the contestants had been fellow exhibitors.

This time it was filmed at Imperial College, but not the day we were there, so I believe I'm right in thinking that we should be 'due' in two weeks' time.

I did get featured again, and it wasn't bad. Their theme on this occasion was motivations, and I was aired explaining how Junkk.com could save time, money and the planet. The voiceover was flip but at least said it was an impressive aim.

The show was pretty much identical to the last. The Judges were kind to the contestants, but not to each other. And Richard Bacon was again quite incisive in his questions and doubts on an idea's validity. And this time, 'tester' Dick strawberries actually found flaw in a few.

As to the ideas, well, I'm afraid I saw no 'Big Idea'. I can't duplicate with Junkk.com the electronic ones, but two are entirely doable, and so I will try to make them up for next time.

Meanwhile here's last week's winner, which I knocked up at the show with a milk bottle and cutter in about 5 minutes. For free.

Bright Idea. Dim View?

Well, just back from the British Invention Show.

Four days. Not too short; not too long. Met some nice folk, both fellow exhibitors and also visitors. On balance, probably a good thing I went.

First up... Junkk.com got bronzed! Yep, despite being more of 'an idea that helps other people have ideas', we actually snagged a bronze award.

Secondly, we got some coverage, in the Indy no less. Shame they forgot to mention the site URL, though. Thanks guys! But A LOT better than nothing, I'd say.

Best yet, my actual Junkk-inspired, for-money invention got a lot of thumbs up from a lot of quarters, including the Patent Office reps (sweet to come back to the forms I filed before I left already endorsed and sitting on my doormat), some very hard-nosed judges, some patent agents and some licensing advisors.

Downsides? Well, it was more money, and a precious four days away from base. Perhaps the biggest downer was not realising that there was a £10 entry fee, and that kinda snookered the vast hordes of public I needed to boost the sign-ups. But I guess quality is better than quantity. And I think I may have made some good new chums who can plug into the Junkk ethos and help spread the word and even generate some content.

I think I have a busy week ahead. A lot piled up while I was away.

My four frames of fame (so far)

Well, they do say fame is fleeting. There must be a better way to do this (MySpace...YouTube?), but here are four screen grabs (pretty much equating to my time on air) from the SKY Big Idea trailer.

The sky is falling,.. and the footsie with it

I share this - The consensus view is frequently very wrong indeed - not because I agree or disagree with it (frankly, as mentioned a lot before, I really don't think a lot of this debate is relevant any more, and am not really qualified to make any better interpretations than anyone else really is), but because it does contain information that I presume to be true, and hence is worth sharing.

I also think that the green juggernaut is getting pretty much a free ride at the moment, and as there are some rather serious economic consequences to a lot of what's being done in the planet's name, a certain balance is always worth encouraging.

Losing from the experience

To keep Junkk.com ticking over in the manner to which it is accustomed, I need to maintain the day job, which is writing. Actually, such is my devotion to the site I have been neglecting this so much that I a) forgot to do it for a while, b) found that money does not grow on rubbish (yet) and c) it's who you no longer know that matters. So, just to add to the workload, I've been hunting for work.

It has not proven easy, and as I have a pretty good portfolio and track record, the simple fact that no one seems interested in seeing the former and asking me how the latter could be applied to their business, I can only assume one reason is that I am no spring chicken any more.

Which is why I have found all this age legislation that just came in a bit of a lark. On the face of it, a pretty good thing if my suspicions are true. But as they can still ask you your age, short of someone saying, in writing (should they be polite enough to do so in reply), that 'as you remember when Tom Baker was Dr. Who, you are way too experienced, and certainly not the shaved-skull hipster we expect to be snowboarding down our aisles, so forget being a part of this dynamic, young agency...'.

Only they will not be saying that at all: Dynamism won't get you a job here

Actually, as a writer I found it all rather silly more than sad. How many of the now outlawed terms meant anything anyway? Would you expect, or want, a slow-learner, non-starter, non-flyer, undynamic or unambitious person to apply? And if they did, would you find a way to not hire them?

As for experienced, well... yes, but it rather depends in what. I would still appreciate the opportunity to explain and present in person.

Reality Bites

An interesting dissection of the state of the football 'profession' after a recent game in the paper this morning: The Beautiful Game is now a celebritocracy

I'm not quite sure where he's been for the last few years not to have noticed until now (and I think the headline may have gained from the substitution of the word 'just' for now), but I was moved to comment:

"It's not just football, I'm afraid... it's everything."

As seen on Junkk.com

I have just watched the first episode of The Big Idea with a slew of contradictory feelings.

By way of a prequel to these, I rather suspect that if we do get featured at all (there was almost nothing of those that didn't make it to the studio semis beyond a few microsecond fillers) it will be in three weeks' time. This is based on two Manchester and two London heats, and we were the last. In fact as I write I just saw myself as a nanosecond filler, sped up to make it even quicker, and it could have been worse. I did look barking, which I guess is my niche.

Another thing that stuck me was just how irrelevant the £100k prize is in the overall scheme of things. Even the filler ads from Vodafone would probably have cost more than that per version. Anyway, back to the show...

First up, there was a huge sigh of relief that there was not too much by way of car crash, at least in terms of contestant humiliation. That said, the judges, who were on the whole quite polite and supportive of even their non-proteges, were often pretty tense with each other. And, for good measure, main host Richard Bacon. I actually quite took to him, as he was trying to question some possible shortcomings from a viewer perspective, and some of his critiques were pretty relevant.

However, I am still disappointed that we are not going to enjoy at least the level of coverage that these semi-finalists did. Even if they don't go any further, the invention did get a good airing. And now, here's the sour-grapey bit. As was commentedd upon several times by the panel, I really did not see anything 'BIG'.

Most interestingly, of those three that 'got through' to the evening's final count, I could duplicate two at least, almost instantly, using Junkk.com. One, the 'Message in a Bauble', I have done right now. The evening's winner, while a nifty idea, I had already done for my mum using a piece of plastic from ann ice-cream carton. Stupid me for not thinking of making anything more of it. I will work it up soon. The third, an educational system, is another easily duplicated Junkk.com collection of items, and we are of course looking at bringing our own packaged programme to the educational system.

On balance, no down sides on the horizon, but a certain frustration that we will not get the positive of proper exposure for all the effort.

Still, worth staying on top of. The URL is thebigidea.tv. Tomorrow I'll have a roam on this site to see what's what.

The Big Idea. A Big Opportunity.. Or A Big Mistake?

Covering my bases here. Tonight sees the first screening of the Big idea on SKY.

And as I fell at the first televised hurdle it may be our brief moment in the sun (though there were several heats which may be spread over the subsequent weeks).

Can't say I am not both full of anticipation and a pack of nerves.

The film crew were encouraging and even the judges most receptive. But I was chatting the other day to someone who knows a recent Dragon's Den contestant, and what happened vs. what they managed to edit it to look like was not very nice. Fingers crossed we'll come across sympathetically.

With luck it will add to our PR efforts and not detract. I guess if you don't try you'll never know.

It's not who you know, but who you owe (or don't?).

Just asking, so's I can get this straight.

Ignoring for now that the amount in dollars would tend to indicate the savings may not be solely within these fair shores, how much did 'we' contribute so 'they' could save it?

It's just that I recall this was raised a while ago, and never heard an answer.

While I'm the last to get sniffy about funding, especially on the small matter of paybacks, why does a major multi-million multinational fmcg need help of this nature in the first place? I must move in the wrong circles.

The most abused word in English (currently)?

I like this question mark lark. Or rather, perhaps I should say: is this question mark lark the new black?

No? Well, if it isn't, I reckon the word 'innovate' (and its various nouns, etc) is.

It just crops up everywhere. In this case it's an ad for a job. But it could be a fund, or a policy or whatever.

Thing is, as far as I can make out, as soon as you see that word the last thing anyone connected with it actually wants to find turning up on the doorstep is anything actually innovative. Because, by definition, it hasn't bee seen or done or heard of before. Which is scary, when you have a career based on measuring, assessing, gatekeeping, valuing and backside-covering to protect.

And I keep getting suckered. I get told that what's being looked for is a new way of thinking, or that they want to break the mould, or they need a fresh mind, and when I go off and craft something that's on brief but off-beat, they go all 'but that's not what we're used to getting' on me.

I actually applied for a Creative Innovation grant once, and having spent days on it was rather disappointed that my proposal wasn't favoured. The reason? It was too creative and innovative. That'll teach me. At least it should have.

Money for nothing, but the drinks are... being toasted in ad land!

I am jealous. I figured out a while ago that there was money to be made in them thar green hills.

But rather than stick with what I knew, which was ads, I got into publishing, because I wanted to make a difference as well.

So far, it's still a struggle, but glimmers are showing.

However, as a creative person and ex-agency owner, I weep at the amount of money being poured into CSR ads... with few making sense to me, let alone seeming intended to make a real difference. Anyone recall AIDAR? That's Grab (Attention) - Stimulate (Interest &/Or) Desire - Provoke (Action/Response)!

TVCs, DPS and Full and Half-page 4c extravaganzas with production costs alone in the 10s if not 100's or thousands, all in media that add millions to the budget, and saying what.. to whom?

I love the discipline of posters. Eight words or less, complemented by a picture, to tell a story. Yes, copy can be necessary to add to the sales pitch.

But what, exactly, do you get from 'Taking the lead by putting nature first?" Note the ? I guess they are not sure.

Or, how about "If someone says environment, what springs to mind?" Er, green stuff. Pretty picture. Turn the page. I'm sure they have challenges, but may day gets better how?

Gis' some, please. And we'll even rewrite them for nothing actually talk to a targeted audience plus have a benefit that may provoke a response, too.

You never know, you may sell something, too. I assume that's what they're for?

It just won't... should be washed

I'm mucking about with self-promo at the moment. All electronic obviously, for reasons of cost but mainly we don't have anyone's addresses, and of course we'd like to keep the junk mail burden to a minimum.

But we do accept that some is necessary. Marketing and jobs depend on it. I also enjoy a good piece of DM if it's well targeted, creative and useful.

Which brings me to mail washing. I'm on my own now. So while I don't mind getting something for me, it does strike one as frustrating when you get multiples. Now I've just noticed on this there is a way to cancel the duds, and it is an 0800 number so I hope it's free. Frankly I'd prefer a URL, and a simple code-based deletion system, like an online unsubscribe. But here's a laugh.. I just dialed it - 0800 15 14 14 - and.. it doesn't work. So the next option is to .. send it back by mail! D'Oh.

Maybe.... we should draw up a central service to make these things work properly. Like the e/F/TPS, but not to stop such things, but manage them centrally. A plan?

ps: These all came as you see them. Flapping about with no plastic sleeve. How was that possible, and why can't the rest do it?

My esteemed self

I think I've got it wrong, but a friend recently gave me the definition of an 'expert' as 'a has been who is little more than a drip'.

I was (poorly, obviously) reminded of this by one of the flood (well, a few - another 3rd party service now under review) of replies to a press release I did to the nation's media regarding our upcoming show and what we'll have on display.

Naturally this was not someone buying, but in this case selling... the opportunity to sell me as an 'expert' when the media need a quick bon mot or quote.

I have to say I was, and am, tempted. But I did call them up to say I was not really an expert, but more an well-informed and opinionated sod. 'Perfect,' they said.

Due flattery (and a sale) aside, I am thinking of proceeding. Obviously there is the opportunity for coverage, but so long as I clearly outline where I am coming from (and this gets accepted and acknowledged by the media... another story) I think there is a case for a bit of consumer advocacy that is not 'expert', and proud to be so.

Because most experts fall into camps, and while this makes for good slanging matches, it does not serve the large number of us who really don't know, but are able to arrive at some kind of a decision (even if it is not black or white) if enough 'What if's' are thrown in.

Of course, there is the down side.

But, by George, damn the torpedoes... I think I'll do it!