Whinge Power

That title describes what got me to the Guardian Climate Change Summit - pretty much describes what I found when I got there... and, probably, a lot of what I've written here, my 1st review of the event.

I say first, as there is a danger that by trying to get everything down, the news will get old in the time it's taken me to write. So I have decided on instalments, either subsequent blogs or additions to this, as and when I get a mo'.

THIS THEN, IS INSTALMENT ONE!

As I said to the organisers, who asked me for my opinion of the day in my capacity as he who closed the event down (when you have invested this much in getting there, it rather amazed me those who blew off the end of the conference to get home early, much less not grabbing every second of networking time at the post session 'do'): "I'm very glad I came. I am even gladder I didn't pay for it".

Whilst thanked for my honesty, it was not, I think, quite what they expected, or wanted, to hear. Because being there cost £800 for the privilege. And I was only there thanks to a massive whinge, having mistaken an 'invitation' to me in my capacity as a 'mover and shaker in the environmental world, concerned about the directions we are taking', as anything more than a way to score a wadge of wonga from every govt, local govt, NGO, commercial green washer and media luvvie who see their profits and/or careers getting enhanced by being 'part' of the green wave.

The event was billed as (and indeed on several occasions throughout the day we were reminded it was...) not just a talking shop, but a genuine attempt to make a difference. Er... no. It was a talking shop. And, for the most part, it was a 'talking down' or 'talking at' shop.

So, on top of travel, per diems and accom (too early a start and too late an end to not straddle the day with a sleepover), if I had forked out that kind of cash from my wallet, I'd have been downright livid. Fortunately, thanks to the kind assistance of my benefactor, speaker David North of Tesco, plus my long-suffering London mates (that's me crashing with them rather than any comment on their fine city) I only had to contribute 3 of my days and a bit of cash getting around and back.

So, let's get into the meat... and greet. I arrived, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, to be greeted at the hotel entrance by 3 of the dirtiest-great biggest BigMobileWillies (thanks for that tip on the basics of car design, Mr. Livingstone) I'd ever seen. These were from sponsor, and acronym, BMW. Good start. 16 and 3/4 series monster cars at a climate conference. Oh well. Anyway, it seems they were the hydrogen jobbies I have 'mentioned' before. Hmnn. Here was a chance to see if I'd been fair in my eye-brow-cock (as we're on a roll), before. As they had DE plates, I asked how they'd got here. Own power? If so, petrol (at 6 litres a pop. And why 6L? Why not 2L?), or hydrogen? And if so, how were they filled? How's the H2 separated from the O? Sun, wind... or power station 'leccy? One tank for a round trip? Or followed by a truck, one presumes diesel, or maybe a hybrid 4x4, car-sharing David Cameron's lunchbox. Sadly, no one at the stand was too sure. But I did get a card from a bloke who knows a bloke, and there is a brochure (one picture and one line per double page spread jobbie, so it may take me a while to read. Plus stop giggling at how much recycled stock was used in the printing) and a website, so I'm on the case.

Are you getting the impression I was/am a man that saw a mission unfurl? And it is critical. There's what is. And there is what you get told. They can often be... different.

GOODIE GUM DROPS (Or, at least, a tube of mints)

Next up, there was the goodie bag. This is becoming sort of a thing, and I think I'll keep it up, whereby I share all that has been consumed to help me save the planet by consuming less. Check out the picture at the top. As my Vac:Sac was doing duty elsewhere I had to improvise on a mobile billboard, and so decided on a mini-trashcan on wheels, which worked well. Astoundingly though, I needed every cubic inch of it to hold all 'we' were given.

Now, just like a kid at a party, I do get a bit disappointed if I don't get something to take home, or even read on the bus. And frankly some things are just plain essential, not to mention relevant, and if one is honest unavoidably necessary, such as a bottle of water. So I was quite happy to get my belu.

As to the rest, well, it varied. For a start, I really have enough jute bags that I half expect to learn of a campaign to ban them. Because most are designed more to look eco than be useful, at least when you get home. What is great for a bunch of A4 folders and a 500ml bottle is pretty darn useless for the weekend shopping. And mine was stuffed with a large tract of the Amazon rainforest, with all sponsors, co-sponsors, etc vying for my attention with various knick-knacks (I felt a certain irony at the the left over copies of the 'Artists Taking Action Against Climate Change' CD from the Observer a while ago (so now I have two) and the pencil that was made from old CDs. Reuse vs. Recycling?).

One that was... interesting... came from our dear Mayor of LondON and the diy planet repair campaign, in the form of a 4 minute egg-timer (with instructions on use... is there something about the state of education in London we don't know?) to help save water in the shower. As one who is in there about 2 minutes, that seems generous (my wife, on the other hand...), but in the circumstances I'd also have to question the way it was presented, mounted on a card... in a plastic bag. And, in the spirit of Junkk's true DIY ethos, not really... er... DIY as such, really.

I don't have a problem with giveaways, but at events such as this I do feel some imagination could go into them to make better points at least.

One massive absence was that of a delegate list. I came to network, and squinting at five hundred folks' chests to read their badges is not optimal. I know there are data protection issues, but this smacked more of a commercial decision. And at £800 for the day, I expect to be aided in meeting and following up with all who came for the same reason.

The mints were nice though.

LOTS OF GRAVY... AND TOO LITTLE MEET

So, where do we go from here? Well, if this is what you get when you fork out the big bucks, I can now see how what gets 'decided' in our name gets decided by those who can afford to attend, but with little real incentive to do much except keep chatting to those they already know.

So I have had the germ of an idea for a truly different kind of conference. I even shared it with my benefactor to see if they would be interested in sponsoring. He didn't say yes. But then again, he didn't say no. I'll give them first refusal. It's the least I can do.

OK, let's get to the 'conference' proper.

I've never been too clear what a conference (or, the much posher 'summit') was, but always assumed it may involve some conferring. Nah. Usually it's a bunch of pretty special folk getting up on a podium and reading to you, often with a PowerPoint behind them. Maybe you get to ask some questions. Maybe you don't. Maybe they answer. Maybe they won't. Then, they scoot off before you can nab 'em, leaving little but a website URL in their wake. This was pretty much what the day consisted of.

However, there can be nuggets, which is why one tends to invest a ton of time and money to see what pans out. It can be a bit of a mixed bag, though.

First up, we had Ken Livingstone. And boy, is he a good speaker. Not a voice that you would want to listen to for long, but the delivery was 100%. I don't think he referred to any notes at all, and it was a fair old crack of time.

Being vaguely aware of his set-to with our Dear Leader I guess I should not have been surprised, but he didn't really seem to be too enamoured with HMG. And it showed. Plus this audience was... receptive. Which may have egged him on to some rather heady heights of hubris, where I honestly felt I was not in the presence of a UK elected official, rather some potentate who was most happy deciding what's good for us with his mates in the C40, which comprises the mayors of the world's biggest cities.

Despite this, there were some interesting initiatives shared, for instance a £30B fund to retrofit old buildings. Makes sense if it's just money, as the enviROI should be tops.

We were also treated to many facts. Actually, the whole day was a fair goldmine of these, but of late I have started to go 'Oh, wow, I didn't know th...' before pausing to wonder if it is, in fact, true.

Ken is not so in favour our new energy schemes, including renewables, if they are marching to the old order of centralised systems. These, he told us, account for a waste of 2/3 of energy. And that half of all water used is in cooling, and then flushed. Is this true? That's massive! And, if so... why? Apparently, the government is 'studying' it. I didn't even know about it!

Any road up (and that is, really, his main skill), he's big on micro-generation on a local level. I am prepared to be swayed, but lurking in my mind is some facts of energy production and consumer and industry demand that may render the ideal less than well, ideal. More to check. Or get advised on by 'those who know.'

I'll leave it there for now. More to come!
INSTALMENT TWO FOLLOWS SOON (RSI permitting)

Featuring:

* A politician doesn't really answer my question - shock
* 4x4s are just penis extensions - if so, why are they mostly driven by school-run Mums?
* The corporate disconnect - technology is just not meant to make doing more less polluting
* Seeing the trees - and saving the forest
* A politician refers to political will - sweet
* Q&As - almost spontaneous
* Corporate pitches - mostly guys reading their company website's CSR section (BAA was fun)
* Activist pitches - mostly guys being 'passionate' about the corporates (and government)
* Jonathan Porritt's closing speech - We are doomed. No wonder a lot had left already.

Postscript (which may also evolve as subsequent coverage is located/provided):

I have waited until Sunday following just in case there is a weekend follow-up, but interestingly, in light of the avowed significance of the event, all I have so far located about this event elsewhere is this which, if you accept my version... even just factually... gives an interesting insight into what today's media, and those seeking to inspire a story, are motivated by :

Livingstone lends support to Tory tax on frequent flyers

Businesses accused of green hypocrisy

MEP LAMBASTS SPONSOR AT CLIMATE CONFERENCE
CLIMATE CHANGE A SECURITY - NOT JUST AN ENVIRONMENTAL - ISSUE

I don't know about you, but other than a story on opposing political camps agreeing on a tax, that doesn't smack of the most positive or proactive outcomes for the public to learn about.