Friday, February 22, 2008

If this wasn't so funny.....

....... it would actually be rather sad. And I know it's not really enviro, but this just has to be seen to be believed.

I am talking about this from the Labour Party, extolling what they believe are their top 50 achievements since coming to power in 1997.

But, not a single mention of the removal of horrendous regimes in Iraq and Afghanistan, nor any mention of the fantastic humanitarian relief efforts undertaken in places like Kossovo, Sierra Leone, plus many locations affected by the tsunami etc. And peace in N. Ireland? Relegated to a comment about devolved power (No. 26). Successfully bidding for the olympics? Not mentioned!

If you want to blow your own trumpet, then feel free to do so, but please include things that are genuinely worthy and please tell the truth. E.g. No 25, 'on course to exceed our kyoto target'!! Get real!!

Nos 1,2,5,6,7 for a start - surely you are taking the proverbial with these?

And absolutely no mention of Northern Wreck, Sleaze, Back-handers, Peerages for donations, dodgy donations, record levels of taxation, record amounts of red tape and numbers of bureaucrats etc. etc., anywhere to be seen! And stealthily getting the UK into the new EU constitution without a referendum? Now that really has been an achievement!

Sorry, but this list appears to me not to be a list of successful achievements at all, it's a list of successful box ticking and bean counting exercises where theoretical 'targets' have been 'met'.

I despair!


1. Longest period of sustained low inflation since the 60s.
Ha Ha Ha! Only by taking mortgage and fuel costs out of the calculation!
2. Low mortgage rates.
Ha Ha Ha!
3. Introduced the National Minimum Wage and raised it to £5.52.

4. Over 14,000 more police in England and Wales.
So where are they all then?
5. Cut overall crime by 32 per cent.
Ha Ha Ha!
6. Record levels of literacy and numeracy in schools.
Ha Ha Ha!
7. Young people achieving some of the best ever results at 14, 16, and 18.
Ha Ha Ha!
8. Funding for every pupil in England has doubled.

9. Employment is at its highest level ever.
By massaging the figures!
10. Written off up to 100 per cent of debt owed by poorest countries.

11. 85,000 more nurses.
So, just why is there still a shortage of nurses? Where have they all gone?
12. 32,000 more doctors.

13. Brought back matrons to hospital wards.
Anybody spotted one yet?
14. Devolved power to the Scottish Parliament.

15. Devolved power to the Welsh Assembly.

16. Dads now get paternity leave of 2 weeks for the first time.

17. NHS Direct offering free convenient patient advice.

18. Gift aid was worth £828 million to charities last year.

19. Restored city-wide government to London.

20. Record number of students in higher education.
And a record number leaving in the first year! Not to mention thousands leaving with huge debts that will take them decades to pay off because of the 'successful' student loan scheme!
21. Child benefit up 26 per cent since 1997.

22. Delivered 2,200 Sure Start Children’s Centres.

23. Introduced the Equality and Human Rights Commission.

24. £200 winter fuel payment to pensioners & up to £300 for over-80s.

25. On course to exceed our Kyoto target for reducing greenhouse gas emissions.
Now you are really taking the pi**!!
26. Restored devolved government to Northern Ireland.
What about achieving peace over there? That really is worth shouting about!
27. Over 36,000 more teachers in England and 274,000 more support staff and teaching assistants.

28. All full time workers now have a right to 24 days paid holiday.

29. A million pensioners lifted out of poverty.
?
30. 600,000 children lifted out of relative poverty.
?
31. Introduced child tax credit giving more money to parents.
Which is so complex, most people don't even claim it!
32. Scrapped Section 28 and introduced Civil Partnerships.

33. Brought over 1 million social homes up to standard.
Errrr, where exactly?
34. Inpatient waiting lists down by over half a million since 1997.
!!
35. Banned fox hunting.
Which continues anyway.
36. Cleanest rivers, beaches, drinking water and air since before the industrial revolution.
With labour contributing what over the last 10 years?
37. Free TV licences for over-75s.

38. Banned fur farming and the testing of cosmetics on animals.

39. Free breast cancer screening for all women aged between 50-70.

40. Free off peak local bus travel for over-60s.

41. New Deal - helped over 1.8 million people into work.

42. Over 3 million child trust funds have been started.

43. Free eye test for over 60s.
Errr, hasn't this always has been so?
44. More than doubled the number of apprenticeships.

45. Free entry to national museums and galleries.

46. Overseas aid budget more than doubled.

47. Heart disease deaths down by 150,000 and cancer deaths down by 50,000.

48. Cut long-term youth unemployment by 75 per cent.

49. Free nursery places for every three and four-year-olds.

50. Free fruit for most four to six-year-olds at school.

Addendum

Telegraph - They forgot about the smoking ban! - Are these Labour's top achievements? (see 50 Comments) - Well, it wan't going to be in the Gaurdian I guess.

5 comments:

Peter said...

Dave.... now.

This is really stretching my attempt at objectivity, even on the blog.

But they are in government and getting away with blue murder in most theoretically objective news media, so... OK!

I will just be keen to see how this gets played elsewhere... if it does.

Make me one promise, though.

If such a set of howlers, especially of such momentous claim vs. reality doubletakeworthiness and even more relating to such as the environment, occurs with any and all others, you will target them equally?

Deal?

I don't know here you find 'em though.

How about sending it in to Ch4 fact checker?

Dave said...

Deal! Should I ever locate any similar set of claims made by any organisation I will (and have, e.g. HSBC & its carbon neutral claims) throw it into the mix

The CH4 fact checker - that seems like a good idea. I wonder if they would take up the challenge of looking at all 50?

Peter said...

You tinker. I meant more along the lines of the turquoises, whatever colour you get mixing orange with green (we know red just gets a fudeg Brown), etc in political hue. For balance.

Want me to fire it off on our behalves... or you?

If they take up the challenge at least we can then get their resources!

Mind you, they do get some Gov/EU money, no?

Peter said...

That's the trouble with pockets. They can be deep. But then they can also be p*ssed in.

Dave said...

OK, by any other political organisation too.

Have fired off the suggestion to the CH4 Fact Checker people already. Let's see if they take up the challenge.