Sorry, this is just too good:
A BBC Enviro correspondent 'reporting' from a desert island idyll, to which he and team have been dispatched (by tube?) to bring us the scoop on something greenish:
"We stay in the old officers' quarters" and "The head chef, Pong, urges me to try his spicy soups. A little bar overlooking a beach opens most evenings."
Almost as good a quote, only without the rampant lack of irony, is the fine fellow who highlighted it for our attention: 'Only most evenings? Pong! More spicy soup!'
Bless.
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