I am a lowly paid person with little authority and not much more responsibility. This is about to change. For I have figured out where the road to true power, privilege and success lies: do nothing, and just for good measure make sure the consequences of this inaction are covered by a suitable disclaimer.
Hence I have collated the collective intel of a million monkeys and their typewriters and can state categorically that pretty much anything is inevitable, if we wait long enough.
There, I'm covered. My status in the halls of influence assured. May I have my index-linked salary and pension now, please?
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Carrot vs. Stick
If you have kids, and I'm sure many of you do (or may even have been one), there are a few basic rules for getting on. ‘Spare the rod, spoil the child’ may have passed into law-enforced PC oblivion, so suffice to say that even with one's nearest and dearest it's best to build the structure of a reward on the firm foundation of what is and is not going to be tolerated, even though the 'or else bit' gets a bit vague these days.
I was reminded of this the other night when watching a programme about Hiroshima. It was very good, if distressing to see the sheer extent of the suffering of the truly innocent (though by way of dispassionate explanation, it was war, and you as dead from a atomic blast as you are on the end of a bayonet, but that is perhaps a topic for another time).
What was interesting, as I did not know beforehand, was that prior to dropping the bomb the Allies had decided to soften their demand for unconditional surrender to take into account the sticking point of the whole Japanese 'Emperor is all' mindset. Basically a bit of a compromise to conclude what was pretty obviously a done deal. Trouble was, this got interpreted by the 'nothing to lose' chancers on the other side as a sign of weakness, so they basically went from thinking about ways to surrender to telling the Allies to stick it, thus ensuring what came to pass.
So on to today, and I read that Iran has told the EU to.. er.. 'stick it', despite offers of political and economic incentives, designed to dissuade the theocratic Middle Eastern state from building atomic bombs. I'm not encouraged that we have any statespersons left with the balls or skill to deal with this. Even those who have read enough history to avoid repeating it. Danegeld... Munich anyone?
A bit like our own homegrown travails, we are reaping what we have sowed by our own ineptitude. Doing nothing is usually more dangerous in the long run. Look at the climate issue.
On a happier note, Junkk.com is just getting more carroty every day, with a raft of new initiatives I can't wait to share. Watch this space. Well, the one to the left on the homepage anyway.
I was reminded of this the other night when watching a programme about Hiroshima. It was very good, if distressing to see the sheer extent of the suffering of the truly innocent (though by way of dispassionate explanation, it was war, and you as dead from a atomic blast as you are on the end of a bayonet, but that is perhaps a topic for another time).
What was interesting, as I did not know beforehand, was that prior to dropping the bomb the Allies had decided to soften their demand for unconditional surrender to take into account the sticking point of the whole Japanese 'Emperor is all' mindset. Basically a bit of a compromise to conclude what was pretty obviously a done deal. Trouble was, this got interpreted by the 'nothing to lose' chancers on the other side as a sign of weakness, so they basically went from thinking about ways to surrender to telling the Allies to stick it, thus ensuring what came to pass.
So on to today, and I read that Iran has told the EU to.. er.. 'stick it', despite offers of political and economic incentives, designed to dissuade the theocratic Middle Eastern state from building atomic bombs. I'm not encouraged that we have any statespersons left with the balls or skill to deal with this. Even those who have read enough history to avoid repeating it. Danegeld... Munich anyone?
A bit like our own homegrown travails, we are reaping what we have sowed by our own ineptitude. Doing nothing is usually more dangerous in the long run. Look at the climate issue.
On a happier note, Junkk.com is just getting more carroty every day, with a raft of new initiatives I can't wait to share. Watch this space. Well, the one to the left on the homepage anyway.
Lack of Definition
I just have to make this quick topical comment.
Why do the autocue-reading vanilla cones and suit-capped bouffants on the news keep saying that the Shuttle landing has suffered another 'setback'?
It's a simple delay, built into the operational parameters, to await the optimal landing conditions across a selection of sites. I know delay doesn't quite have the same sensationalist cachet as setback, but if it's a slow news day, try and find some other news guys! A surfboarding tortoise would be preferable to wheeling out the endless series of talking heads to say that it's going round in circles waiting to land because that's what they've planned to do all along.
No news is no news.
I for one, especially for the sake of their families and colleagues, wish the crew well and happy landings. Until they do - end of story.
Why do the autocue-reading vanilla cones and suit-capped bouffants on the news keep saying that the Shuttle landing has suffered another 'setback'?
It's a simple delay, built into the operational parameters, to await the optimal landing conditions across a selection of sites. I know delay doesn't quite have the same sensationalist cachet as setback, but if it's a slow news day, try and find some other news guys! A surfboarding tortoise would be preferable to wheeling out the endless series of talking heads to say that it's going round in circles waiting to land because that's what they've planned to do all along.
No news is no news.
I for one, especially for the sake of their families and colleagues, wish the crew well and happy landings. Until they do - end of story.
Monday, August 08, 2005
Fan Mail
During one of those long hot summers in my early ad career, we were all sweltering as usual as there was no such thing as aircon in our office. Instead there was one small tabletop job that perched on a filing cabinet behind an account director of less than spectacular popularity. One day he was pontificating away with his feet upon on his desk and his chair rocking back against the cabinet. And the inevitable, blissfully, took place. I couldn't resist. 'That's the first recorded instance of the fan hitting the s**t!, I exclaimed, and the acclaim I was accorded from that moment on more than made up for the P45.
Which brings me to today's topic.
In the mail wasa hefty envelope from one of those agencies tasked to (help) stop us do stuff that is not as environmentally sound as it may be. So far, so noble.
Amongst the various letters and posters and flyers and leaflets (though to be fair they do suggest we ask for some, though I presume not all, online) there was a piece of wood attached to a piece of card, to form a sort of... fan.
On one side was written: 'Here's one extra way to keep cool without extra carbon emissions'.
Now I am as big a fan (excuse the pun) of interactive DM as the next guy. But as this was from a 'don’t waste’ agency, and it patently did involve a few extra carbon emissions, from its construction to delivery, no matter how good the message I feel the need to take the messenger to one side for a wee chat at least.
Especially as tucked away in small type around the rim on the reverse was this: 'Not a fan? If you don't plan to use me then please return to:...'
I wonder what the cost all round (financial and eco) would be if I did, per unit.
But in the spirit of their message I am now getting cracking on a structure you can make from the obviously often necessary business mailings one has to send out in the spirit of communication. Just like our very own Folda-Holda.
I wonder if they'd sponsor me?
Which brings me to today's topic.
In the mail wasa hefty envelope from one of those agencies tasked to (help) stop us do stuff that is not as environmentally sound as it may be. So far, so noble.
Amongst the various letters and posters and flyers and leaflets (though to be fair they do suggest we ask for some, though I presume not all, online) there was a piece of wood attached to a piece of card, to form a sort of... fan.
On one side was written: 'Here's one extra way to keep cool without extra carbon emissions'.
Now I am as big a fan (excuse the pun) of interactive DM as the next guy. But as this was from a 'don’t waste’ agency, and it patently did involve a few extra carbon emissions, from its construction to delivery, no matter how good the message I feel the need to take the messenger to one side for a wee chat at least.
Especially as tucked away in small type around the rim on the reverse was this: 'Not a fan? If you don't plan to use me then please return to:...'
I wonder what the cost all round (financial and eco) would be if I did, per unit.
But in the spirit of their message I am now getting cracking on a structure you can make from the obviously often necessary business mailings one has to send out in the spirit of communication. Just like our very own Folda-Holda.
I wonder if they'd sponsor me?
Friday, August 05, 2005
Off form
What is it with forms? Or rather, those who send them out?
How come they can never make them reflect the possible answers, and certainly never acknowledge context. Or that ambiguity may mean there is not the definitive answer they demand.
I was... am... a writer, and certainly like things to say what they mean, and mean what they say. I’m also a scientist. So if asked how many angels could dance on the head of a pin I'd probably first need to know if they were doing the Tango or Waltz. And I flatly refuse to sign anything unless I agree with everything I am being required put my name to, or at least articulated in a way with which I am comfortable.
I lost out on a job opportunity a few years ago, having gone through a series of very successful personal interviews, only to fail a psychometric analysis. I know why, and it wasn't my answers. It was what I didn't, or refused, to answer. The pin-strip and braces kept insisting I had to tick a box when the accurate response was not adequately represented in the options, and then got in a snit because I was pushing his £300/per fee beyond the assigned time for his secretarial services. I hope the company found the compliant box-ticker they were seeking.
Government is always a rich seam. My wife got confused with a census form when she had to put herself down as either Oriental or Asian, when she considers herself to be both.
And I had a fun series of exchanges with a funder where they insisted I sign a form that I couldn't and wouldn't, which ended up with me sending a blank form along with a 3-page letter to put important issues in context. I'd had the money so was none too worried, and never heard back, so I wonder what happened there?
All I ask is that if you can't deal with the possible answers, then don't ask the question.
So enough with the forms, and if you really want to know something, ask me in person and be ready to work with the reply I provide. Or if you have to have it in a form only a computer can love, at least put in an option in there like:
[ ] none of these allow for a valid feedback on this question as posed, please call me to discuss on....
And then doubtless file my reply under 'not understanding/cooperative' and put me in another neat box, instead of wondering if your way of asking questions is flawed.
How come they can never make them reflect the possible answers, and certainly never acknowledge context. Or that ambiguity may mean there is not the definitive answer they demand.
I was... am... a writer, and certainly like things to say what they mean, and mean what they say. I’m also a scientist. So if asked how many angels could dance on the head of a pin I'd probably first need to know if they were doing the Tango or Waltz. And I flatly refuse to sign anything unless I agree with everything I am being required put my name to, or at least articulated in a way with which I am comfortable.
I lost out on a job opportunity a few years ago, having gone through a series of very successful personal interviews, only to fail a psychometric analysis. I know why, and it wasn't my answers. It was what I didn't, or refused, to answer. The pin-strip and braces kept insisting I had to tick a box when the accurate response was not adequately represented in the options, and then got in a snit because I was pushing his £300/per fee beyond the assigned time for his secretarial services. I hope the company found the compliant box-ticker they were seeking.
Government is always a rich seam. My wife got confused with a census form when she had to put herself down as either Oriental or Asian, when she considers herself to be both.
And I had a fun series of exchanges with a funder where they insisted I sign a form that I couldn't and wouldn't, which ended up with me sending a blank form along with a 3-page letter to put important issues in context. I'd had the money so was none too worried, and never heard back, so I wonder what happened there?
All I ask is that if you can't deal with the possible answers, then don't ask the question.
So enough with the forms, and if you really want to know something, ask me in person and be ready to work with the reply I provide. Or if you have to have it in a form only a computer can love, at least put in an option in there like:
[ ] none of these allow for a valid feedback on this question as posed, please call me to discuss on....
And then doubtless file my reply under 'not understanding/cooperative' and put me in another neat box, instead of wondering if your way of asking questions is flawed.
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Up in smoke
We at Junkk.com try to be mercifully above... below.. well, slightly off to one side of the great 'who's got the biggest ecowilly' contest, where one defender of all that's green and good have a got go at another. However, as it's just me....
What really could not go without comment, albeit poorly-balanced geopolitically, ecologically and bigger picturely, was the following I just read, under the title :'Shuttle Commander sees wide environmental damage'. Commander Eileen Collins is quoted as saying astronauts on shuttle Discovery had seen widespread environmental destruction on Earth and warned on Thursday that greater care was needed to protect natural resources. "We would like to see, from the astronauts' point of view, people take good care of the Earth and replace the resources that have been used."
Scorched earth. Billowing towers of greenhouse gasses being expended to convey just a few privileged individuals around in their expensive vehicles.
Obviously she was not gazing down on her own launchpad.
Now, if we could just get a cow into orbit using its own methane as fuel...
What really could not go without comment, albeit poorly-balanced geopolitically, ecologically and bigger picturely, was the following I just read, under the title :'Shuttle Commander sees wide environmental damage'. Commander Eileen Collins is quoted as saying astronauts on shuttle Discovery had seen widespread environmental destruction on Earth and warned on Thursday that greater care was needed to protect natural resources. "We would like to see, from the astronauts' point of view, people take good care of the Earth and replace the resources that have been used."
Scorched earth. Billowing towers of greenhouse gasses being expended to convey just a few privileged individuals around in their expensive vehicles.
Obviously she was not gazing down on her own launchpad.
Now, if we could just get a cow into orbit using its own methane as fuel...
A mighty Whoosh
This is not, as might first be suspected, anything to do with wind, at least not of the 'minced moorhen' or 'Dorothy Does Birmingham' variety.
It would appear that it is indeed the bovine population's flatulence that is posing a bigger threat than any SUV ever can. At least in LA. I can actually get my head around this.
To save the planet I guess I could get used to veggie burgers, but in the meantime there is really only one solution. And have I got a good use for a BBQ sauce bottle. With Junkk.com always there for seconds.
It would appear that it is indeed the bovine population's flatulence that is posing a bigger threat than any SUV ever can. At least in LA. I can actually get my head around this.
To save the planet I guess I could get used to veggie burgers, but in the meantime there is really only one solution. And have I got a good use for a BBQ sauce bottle. With Junkk.com always there for seconds.
On balance
On a dark day recently, if only one of too many, two men died.
Both were the innocent, unwilling victims of violent people who do not value human life, and through some warped view of their own and their position in society decided (either with malice aforethought or spontaneously, with perverse rationality or under the influence of something... I really do not care) to attack without thought for the consequences.
Their intention, sadly successful in both cases, was clear.
Which made them murderists. Nothing more. No other 'ist' or 'phobe'. The clear, main linking fact was that they sought to kill, and need to be caught and prevented from doing so again to protect the rest of 'us'.
But somehow this plain fact has somehow been obscured by a media-driven society and an overly sensistive and reactive governing system. Hence these two deaths, the circumstances, the protagonists and the follow-up has taken two very different paths. One has become a circus; the other all but forgotten already. Yet the simple facts remained the same.
But that does not provide nearly enough for an angle to be found; a way to spin things out, then analyse and comment. To stir things up and then reap the ratings from the consequences.
So the coverage was not balanced, and hence neither was the response. Labels had to be applied. Pigeonholes filled. Agendas promoted at the expense of the only real issue.
Innocents deprived of life by Murderists.
Both were the innocent, unwilling victims of violent people who do not value human life, and through some warped view of their own and their position in society decided (either with malice aforethought or spontaneously, with perverse rationality or under the influence of something... I really do not care) to attack without thought for the consequences.
Their intention, sadly successful in both cases, was clear.
Which made them murderists. Nothing more. No other 'ist' or 'phobe'. The clear, main linking fact was that they sought to kill, and need to be caught and prevented from doing so again to protect the rest of 'us'.
But somehow this plain fact has somehow been obscured by a media-driven society and an overly sensistive and reactive governing system. Hence these two deaths, the circumstances, the protagonists and the follow-up has taken two very different paths. One has become a circus; the other all but forgotten already. Yet the simple facts remained the same.
But that does not provide nearly enough for an angle to be found; a way to spin things out, then analyse and comment. To stir things up and then reap the ratings from the consequences.
So the coverage was not balanced, and hence neither was the response. Labels had to be applied. Pigeonholes filled. Agendas promoted at the expense of the only real issue.
Innocents deprived of life by Murderists.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
It's good to chat
Well, our first internet chat room interview passed off without a hitch, assuming you don't count my touch typing skills which, combined with a postage stamp-sized text box and no Spellchecker, resulted in some interesting versions of words.
See it here:
http://www.theenvironmentsite.org/Forum/viewtopic.php?t=2970
My fears about getting a full answer across were unfounded, Adi was a most gracious host, the participants proactive and we look forward to all who took part (or reading subsequently) gaining a little from the experience.
See it here:
http://www.theenvironmentsite.org/Forum/viewtopic.php?t=2970
My fears about getting a full answer across were unfounded, Adi was a most gracious host, the participants proactive and we look forward to all who took part (or reading subsequently) gaining a little from the experience.
Taking Time
I used to have a bumper sticker on my car: "Copywriters have to do it in 30 seconds or less'. Perhaps the greatest discipline, and value, of my profession was communicating (and better yet persuading) in, or via, our words in as limited space as possible. The best vehicle was posters, which I love. I believe the rule was '8 words or less', though this did come with an extra 1000 in the form of a complementary picture. But as (Mark Twain? You'll gather I have memory as hazy as it is selective) said, it takes a lot of time to write a little.
It's no excuse, but I don't have a lot of time. Which is why this blog sometimes is more a stream of thought, best got down and out than not at all.
But I also worry that the pendulum has swung too far (as it inevitably does), and in demanding the merits of brevity we are also losing the value of consideration. Sound bites. 30 second elevator pitches. ‘I'm afraid that’s all we have time for... ‘ says the fragrant TV vanilla cone, cutting short a discussion on terror to a skateboarding tortoise.
Take our forthcoming online chat. Someone asks: 'what do you think about recycled paper?'. How long have they got? But the system (literally in this case as I think there's a limit on how much you can insert on an ICQ exchange) and the attention spans of all but the poser pretty much demand that we say something quickly, without opportunity to create context, explore options and establish the grey in amongst the absolute black and the white. This leads to mistakes, misunderstandings and protracted follow-ups.
We hate wastes of anything. But I do wonder whether in our obsession with saving time we sometimes end up wasting even more of it.
It's no excuse, but I don't have a lot of time. Which is why this blog sometimes is more a stream of thought, best got down and out than not at all.
But I also worry that the pendulum has swung too far (as it inevitably does), and in demanding the merits of brevity we are also losing the value of consideration. Sound bites. 30 second elevator pitches. ‘I'm afraid that’s all we have time for... ‘ says the fragrant TV vanilla cone, cutting short a discussion on terror to a skateboarding tortoise.
Take our forthcoming online chat. Someone asks: 'what do you think about recycled paper?'. How long have they got? But the system (literally in this case as I think there's a limit on how much you can insert on an ICQ exchange) and the attention spans of all but the poser pretty much demand that we say something quickly, without opportunity to create context, explore options and establish the grey in amongst the absolute black and the white. This leads to mistakes, misunderstandings and protracted follow-ups.
We hate wastes of anything. But I do wonder whether in our obsession with saving time we sometimes end up wasting even more of it.
C U @ 12 !
Only a few hours to go.
Emma and I yesterday had a run through with Adi of the environment site
[link direct via header or cut&paste
http://www.theenvironmentsite.org/Forum/viewforum.php?f=36]
for our online 'chat'.
Already some good pre-questions we have prepped for, though we're not sure how to get our several para answers to their one liners into this ICQ thingy.
It's a good job Emma has the 'dashing digits of a keyboard kween!'
Emma and I yesterday had a run through with Adi of the environment site
[link direct via header or cut&paste
http://www.theenvironmentsite.org/Forum/viewforum.php?f=36]
for our online 'chat'.
Already some good pre-questions we have prepped for, though we're not sure how to get our several para answers to their one liners into this ICQ thingy.
It's a good job Emma has the 'dashing digits of a keyboard kween!'
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
You know what else would be useful?
I just watched our 'local' BBC lunchtime TV.
And it seems up in somewhere (not here), a bunch of scam artists are taking advantage of people's good nature to persuade them to leave out bags of old clothes in the name of a non-existent charity. Apparently, it is a big business.
You know what would be useful to help in such things... a truly localised website that people check on a regular basis for matters such as recycling, reuse and charitable matters, where they can be advised of and/or report on such things immediately.
Now, wouldn't that be a great idea?
And it seems up in somewhere (not here), a bunch of scam artists are taking advantage of people's good nature to persuade them to leave out bags of old clothes in the name of a non-existent charity. Apparently, it is a big business.
You know what would be useful to help in such things... a truly localised website that people check on a regular basis for matters such as recycling, reuse and charitable matters, where they can be advised of and/or report on such things immediately.
Now, wouldn't that be a great idea?
Hidden in plain sight.. er.. site
This is fast becoming a 'memo to self/staff', but as the latter seem to find my blog more useful and fun than anything I say in person, it's worth sharing here.
Just now a lovely lady from our Council (well, a company they are paying/subsidising... now there's an idea!) knocked on the door and asked me if I'd like to know about a scheme to give me money to lag, draft exclude and all manner of other neat stuff. Give me money!? Of course I would! Saving green, both moolah and planets, is where I'm coming from!
I now have a form. And freephone.
What would have been nice would be a website… now there's an idea!
Anyway, no sooner had I popped back upstairs and online than I find a press release telling us green waste gathered from a certain council’s gardens is being recycled and used in parks and flowerbeds throughout the borough. Cool. These guys are on the ball, and I am sure the residents are well aware and a well-coordinated scheme is matching supply and demand.
If not, a website would be useful here... now there's an idea!
Now, I wonder if the same thing happens in our postcode - where would I go?
A website would be useful… now there's an idea!
I now am on my fourth composter (courtesy of neat subsidies for all the bins).
If you want to know how, well, a website would be useful… now there's an idea!
Anyway, around our home there seems to be an excess of supply vs. demand. It would be good to get rid of it. So we're on the case (well, when Emma reads this we will be).
If there is something, we'll ask the guys in question to post it on their very own content page.
And when they don't we'll find the time to do it for them.
That way when the public ask about such things, they'll soon find there's one place they know will have, or soon get, the info and answers they need. Junkk.com.
Now there’s a good idea!
Just now a lovely lady from our Council (well, a company they are paying/subsidising... now there's an idea!) knocked on the door and asked me if I'd like to know about a scheme to give me money to lag, draft exclude and all manner of other neat stuff. Give me money!? Of course I would! Saving green, both moolah and planets, is where I'm coming from!
I now have a form. And freephone.
What would have been nice would be a website… now there's an idea!
Anyway, no sooner had I popped back upstairs and online than I find a press release telling us green waste gathered from a certain council’s gardens is being recycled and used in parks and flowerbeds throughout the borough. Cool. These guys are on the ball, and I am sure the residents are well aware and a well-coordinated scheme is matching supply and demand.
If not, a website would be useful here... now there's an idea!
Now, I wonder if the same thing happens in our postcode - where would I go?
A website would be useful… now there's an idea!
I now am on my fourth composter (courtesy of neat subsidies for all the bins).
If you want to know how, well, a website would be useful… now there's an idea!
Anyway, around our home there seems to be an excess of supply vs. demand. It would be good to get rid of it. So we're on the case (well, when Emma reads this we will be).
If there is something, we'll ask the guys in question to post it on their very own content page.
And when they don't we'll find the time to do it for them.
That way when the public ask about such things, they'll soon find there's one place they know will have, or soon get, the info and answers they need. Junkk.com.
Now there’s a good idea!
No use having an great idea if you can't tell anyone
It is agreed; it's too long. My blog, that is.
So I am going to try a new tack, which is basically punting a notion (a short one) up there as soon as it strikes. These two lines don't count, right?
As you may know, we have not yet launched Junkk.com 'properly' to the public. We want to stock it up a bit more with data and ideas before we push the big PR button. And to do this, we have been approaching fmcg blue-chippies to do just that. No money... (yet, until we've proved we have the visitor numbers. But if anyone does want to get in now...) just an approval and a few minutes of the relevant department's time.
We have not been having the greatest success. I think I know why. Yesterday Uncle Ray, our BizLink business advisor, went through our contacts list and asked about progress.
As I started explaining, he gave me that 'don't procrastinate' smile of his and told me to contact ... this one... and this one (sfx: random finger jabbing)... now! So I did. Know what? Both emails bounced. Know why? Both heads of marketing were 'no longer at that address'. Two, top blue chip MDs, this week, at random. Gone. Sheesh.
This makes my job very difficult. But I guess I should be grateful I still have one.
Even if it writing long blogs.
So I am going to try a new tack, which is basically punting a notion (a short one) up there as soon as it strikes. These two lines don't count, right?
As you may know, we have not yet launched Junkk.com 'properly' to the public. We want to stock it up a bit more with data and ideas before we push the big PR button. And to do this, we have been approaching fmcg blue-chippies to do just that. No money... (yet, until we've proved we have the visitor numbers. But if anyone does want to get in now...) just an approval and a few minutes of the relevant department's time.
We have not been having the greatest success. I think I know why. Yesterday Uncle Ray, our BizLink business advisor, went through our contacts list and asked about progress.
As I started explaining, he gave me that 'don't procrastinate' smile of his and told me to contact ... this one... and this one (sfx: random finger jabbing)... now! So I did. Know what? Both emails bounced. Know why? Both heads of marketing were 'no longer at that address'. Two, top blue chip MDs, this week, at random. Gone. Sheesh.
This makes my job very difficult. But I guess I should be grateful I still have one.
Even if it writing long blogs.
Can you be good and still have fun?
That thud, just picked up on the Hawaii tsunami sensors, was our lovely Chief of Prose and Comms hitting the floor.
Because, I've gone and done it.
I've pitched our idea to Jeremy Clarkson (well, Top Gear, but I'm sure he reads all the emails).
I'm hopeful, because despite our area of work we often nod in agreement as much as we wince at some of the team's activities, investigations and pronouncements on the activities of the 'mentalists.
We know good. We know fun. We think they may be up for something that does both. Everybody wins. Just like Junkk.com.
Fingers crossed!
Because, I've gone and done it.
I've pitched our idea to Jeremy Clarkson (well, Top Gear, but I'm sure he reads all the emails).
I'm hopeful, because despite our area of work we often nod in agreement as much as we wince at some of the team's activities, investigations and pronouncements on the activities of the 'mentalists.
We know good. We know fun. We think they may be up for something that does both. Everybody wins. Just like Junkk.com.
Fingers crossed!
Does lucky make you good?
Napoleon once said that he wanted (or preferred, which would make more sense), his Generals to be 'lucky'. This seems to be a view prevalent across society today, and applies across just about every job function one can imagine. And lucky can be profitable with many, especially the worlds of finance and football management. A guy is sitting in the hot seat when it all goes right, and all of the sudden they seem to be accorded guru-like status... and rewards. Ditto business. But with a few notable exceptions, luck is not a substitute for talent (though it makes good copy, hence the only winners are the media), and the fall can be hard.
A while ago we submitted ourselves to a BBC reality TV show called The Dragon’s Den, where successful (or possibly 'lucky') business folks got to assess your idea with a view to investment. As we're not averse to a boost from any quarter, and there's always a use for exposure, it seemed a worthwhile effort. Now we're quite glad we didn't get accepted. Despite some reassuring noises in the invitation to submit, it became apparent that there was not so much interest or intention on the part of the programme makers to find genuine opportunities and make them work, but to generate more car-crash TV, with sweating victims crumbling in front of ruthless interrogators.
A lot just didn't make sense to me, and I am a complete novice in such matters. These guys had a brief moment to outline their concept and proposal, the 'Dragons' posed a few questions (often very good ones, and the failure to answer them by the guys on the spot further convincing me that Business Plans were being pre-screened for holes rather than potential) and then wads of cash were pushed across the table to buy in, on the spot, 'take it or leave it'.
And despite the amounts being, to me, relatively minor, a lot of folks gave away their blood, sweat and tears to these guys... and for what? Money is always nice (but equally easy to spend unwisely if not well directed), but other than this and a bit of temporary profile, what were these business brains going to bring to the party?
Well, today it was announced that the company of one the 'judges' of the programme, Red Letter Days (I guess the press will have a field day with that colour), went into administration. Which is quite sad. Especially for any of those 'invested' in. I understand that there is already a new series 'in the can', and it will be interesting to see how the BBC presents it in light of what's happened.
It at least serves to convince me that we delve even more deeply into what any investor can do for us, short medium and long term, as they will us.
We've been lucky. But we want to stay good.
A while ago we submitted ourselves to a BBC reality TV show called The Dragon’s Den, where successful (or possibly 'lucky') business folks got to assess your idea with a view to investment. As we're not averse to a boost from any quarter, and there's always a use for exposure, it seemed a worthwhile effort. Now we're quite glad we didn't get accepted. Despite some reassuring noises in the invitation to submit, it became apparent that there was not so much interest or intention on the part of the programme makers to find genuine opportunities and make them work, but to generate more car-crash TV, with sweating victims crumbling in front of ruthless interrogators.
A lot just didn't make sense to me, and I am a complete novice in such matters. These guys had a brief moment to outline their concept and proposal, the 'Dragons' posed a few questions (often very good ones, and the failure to answer them by the guys on the spot further convincing me that Business Plans were being pre-screened for holes rather than potential) and then wads of cash were pushed across the table to buy in, on the spot, 'take it or leave it'.
And despite the amounts being, to me, relatively minor, a lot of folks gave away their blood, sweat and tears to these guys... and for what? Money is always nice (but equally easy to spend unwisely if not well directed), but other than this and a bit of temporary profile, what were these business brains going to bring to the party?
Well, today it was announced that the company of one the 'judges' of the programme, Red Letter Days (I guess the press will have a field day with that colour), went into administration. Which is quite sad. Especially for any of those 'invested' in. I understand that there is already a new series 'in the can', and it will be interesting to see how the BBC presents it in light of what's happened.
It at least serves to convince me that we delve even more deeply into what any investor can do for us, short medium and long term, as they will us.
We've been lucky. But we want to stay good.
Monday, August 01, 2005
Unfair winds
There were a bunch of shocked people standing in front of their wrecked community. The emergency services were doing well, and there had, mercifully, been no loss of life.
The fragrant reporter who had been wafted in to tell us they were in shock and share their pain was not asking how it felt ('great, moy ‘ouse is a pile of rooble') but actually posing some halfway-sensible questions for once. The council guy seemed refreshingly concerned. The government guy seemed equally concerned, but mainly about his suit, Specsavers no-rims (should have gone to a store that's not for people who sneer), bouffant, derriere and hence not saying anything (though not necessarily in that order).
Especially he did not seem to be saying anything that might actually commit to helping those who had just suffered a major disaster, which may or may not have been as a result of a bit of climate changing in an unexpected manner.
Is it just me, but if this was a Birmingham not in... (somewhere not the USA, but unlike them not expected to deal with its own mess), but good old Brum, just up the road in what I now learn the is UK equivalent of Tornado Alley (I thought I saw Helen Hunt in the pub), would we not already have a set of pearlies atop a pinstripe or bob atop a brooched scarf vowing to send aid?
There you go Emma; a short blog!
The fragrant reporter who had been wafted in to tell us they were in shock and share their pain was not asking how it felt ('great, moy ‘ouse is a pile of rooble') but actually posing some halfway-sensible questions for once. The council guy seemed refreshingly concerned. The government guy seemed equally concerned, but mainly about his suit, Specsavers no-rims (should have gone to a store that's not for people who sneer), bouffant, derriere and hence not saying anything (though not necessarily in that order).
Especially he did not seem to be saying anything that might actually commit to helping those who had just suffered a major disaster, which may or may not have been as a result of a bit of climate changing in an unexpected manner.
Is it just me, but if this was a Birmingham not in... (somewhere not the USA, but unlike them not expected to deal with its own mess), but good old Brum, just up the road in what I now learn the is UK equivalent of Tornado Alley (I thought I saw Helen Hunt in the pub), would we not already have a set of pearlies atop a pinstripe or bob atop a brooched scarf vowing to send aid?
There you go Emma; a short blog!
Ignorance is bliss
I have a problem. Or rather, Junkk.com has a problem.
First the good news. Even before we launch to the public, we are getting a steady stream of people who find out about us, or stumble across us, and get interested enough in what they see to register. Or at least try to. A percentage express the desire, but there are those who do not complete. The process we use is in common use on the net, and uncomplicated.
All we ask is a name, email and first block of postcode. Then.. send! For reasons of security and personal protection this is immediately replied to with a simple link, clicking on which automatically completes the registration. But we do get some who do not, and we do every so often write personally to remind them and ask if we can help in case of problems.
There are a few possible reasons for them not confirming:
* they didn't receive the confirmation email to activate your account (and we know ISPs like AOL have firewalls that can cause problems)
* they forgot to activate their account, hence our reminder!
* they entered an invalid email address (twice), in which case they were really having a bad day and are lost in the e-ther
..or, sniff, they changed their mind about registering. Fair 'nuff.
There could of course be countless reasons why someone may find out about us, surf enough to get interested, sign up but subsequently decide not to have access to a FREE environmental information resource such as ours and, when personally contacted and reminded in case of error, decline.
But a council waste minimisation officer and a schools environmental education officer?
Now... THAT baffles me.
At least they won't be reading this blog
First the good news. Even before we launch to the public, we are getting a steady stream of people who find out about us, or stumble across us, and get interested enough in what they see to register. Or at least try to. A percentage express the desire, but there are those who do not complete. The process we use is in common use on the net, and uncomplicated.
All we ask is a name, email and first block of postcode. Then.. send! For reasons of security and personal protection this is immediately replied to with a simple link, clicking on which automatically completes the registration. But we do get some who do not, and we do every so often write personally to remind them and ask if we can help in case of problems.
There are a few possible reasons for them not confirming:
* they didn't receive the confirmation email to activate your account (and we know ISPs like AOL have firewalls that can cause problems)
* they forgot to activate their account, hence our reminder!
* they entered an invalid email address (twice), in which case they were really having a bad day and are lost in the e-ther
..or, sniff, they changed their mind about registering. Fair 'nuff.
There could of course be countless reasons why someone may find out about us, surf enough to get interested, sign up but subsequently decide not to have access to a FREE environmental information resource such as ours and, when personally contacted and reminded in case of error, decline.
But a council waste minimisation officer and a schools environmental education officer?
Now... THAT baffles me.
At least they won't be reading this blog
Sunday, July 31, 2005
':o
So it appears Microsoft is trying to patent, (copyright? Well, make their own. Where's a lawyer when you really need one?) emoticons, or smilies to you and me.
Hmn, this brings to mind when Warner Brothers tried to stop the Marx Brothers doing something or other and ended up on the wrong end of Groucho's brilliant, non-legalese (don't get me started) rebuttal, which as I recall rather hilariously involved questioning who first 'owned' the name 'Brothers', which was a nice case of the biter bit.
Now I'm pretty sure that Bill Gates didn't know about this, at least until now (and I don't mean that he reads my mighty blog... yet). I'm also pretty sure that the guy who reports to the guy who reports to the guy who reports to Bill didn't know about this. So I hope they will move quite swiftly and stop this nonsense right away.
It is pointless, greedy and will only benefit lawyers (don't get me started) to pursue. And I am sure Microsoft wouldn't want any of us to think of them in these ways.
:)
Hmn, this brings to mind when Warner Brothers tried to stop the Marx Brothers doing something or other and ended up on the wrong end of Groucho's brilliant, non-legalese (don't get me started) rebuttal, which as I recall rather hilariously involved questioning who first 'owned' the name 'Brothers', which was a nice case of the biter bit.
Now I'm pretty sure that Bill Gates didn't know about this, at least until now (and I don't mean that he reads my mighty blog... yet). I'm also pretty sure that the guy who reports to the guy who reports to the guy who reports to Bill didn't know about this. So I hope they will move quite swiftly and stop this nonsense right away.
It is pointless, greedy and will only benefit lawyers (don't get me started) to pursue. And I am sure Microsoft wouldn't want any of us to think of them in these ways.
:)
Saturday, July 30, 2005
...and the winner is!
Junkk.com doesn't usually go for awards. There is always a fee too much, a rule too onerous, a catch too dodgy, an agenda too obvious or a faint sniff of frigging in the rigging to make the amount and/or effort involved really worth it.
But today I slapped in our entry to the start-ups awards, http://www.startupawards.co.uk [link direct by clicking on headline. No, I didn't realise you could do that until recently, either]
The forms were short, the requirements simple, the judges relevant, the sponsors radars’ worth getting into, the cost reasonable… and the categories relevant. So, when do I collect my cheque!? Oh, the competition. Well, with all the ‘may the best win’ and all, I hope we wipe the board, including the big one, the top of the lot one.
Trouble is, that was won last year by a company with green in it, and we do know how awards like to share it all about evenly. Plus I was a bit iffy on certain questions, especially the financial ones. When the bean-counters want to see your beans, if you're a start-up there may not be an easy way of even the collector of beans to know what they have. Plus there tends to be a lot out for a while at the start, to offset the amount in when absolute amounts are calculated. And let me tell, you, trying to save the planet is not cheap.
But we're hopeful. A category like ‘Online Business’ is a definite match. ‘Best use of Technology’ hopeful (computers, databasing, search, ideas, making stuff,.. hi tech to promote low tech... to promote good practice). ‘Micro Business’ is a must, as you don't get much more micro than us. ‘Innovative’.. .well, need we say more? ‘Community Impact’... modesty prevents, but between pretty much everything we do, and especially stuff such as RE-Box, Green nappies, our charities initiative, etc, we think we're ok there.
Even the statement of what they are looking for is refreshing: ‘Originality of Thought’ (saving the planet AND making money from junk?). ‘Customer Satisfaction’ (ditto), ‘Balanced Approach to Work/life’ (on balance, the family had to go on holiday without me while we're launching this summer). ‘Sheer Bravery and Guts’ (One of our complementitors - guys by whom we should be supported and with whom we should working, but do get measured by reaching & teaching the public - seem to be keeping their communications budgets to themselves for now. Go figure.) had £20M last year to play with, while I’m looking enviously at the boys' piggy banks. ‘Building the Community’ (where to start/). ‘Flexibility in Working Practices (sure you can work at the weekend,,!).
Of course, as it was not a 'weekday-job' I have just sprinted down the Post Office to get it off registered in time for Monday's deadline. And as Emma, Queen of Filing, wasn't here I couldn't find half the neat things I only just thought of to stick in the pack. But it has gone, and no more to concern ourselves with until we hear back. Or don't.
The judging will be taking place over the next few weeks, so they will miss our main consumer campaign later this year, which is what we start-ups do to get going. Which means that, as a start-up, a lot of what we're up to may need to be taken on trust for now, though a roam around the site can't hurt.
So if you know any of the sponsors, or judges, please feel free to have a wee word...
But today I slapped in our entry to the start-ups awards, http://www.startupawards.co.uk [link direct by clicking on headline. No, I didn't realise you could do that until recently, either]
The forms were short, the requirements simple, the judges relevant, the sponsors radars’ worth getting into, the cost reasonable… and the categories relevant. So, when do I collect my cheque!? Oh, the competition. Well, with all the ‘may the best win’ and all, I hope we wipe the board, including the big one, the top of the lot one.
Trouble is, that was won last year by a company with green in it, and we do know how awards like to share it all about evenly. Plus I was a bit iffy on certain questions, especially the financial ones. When the bean-counters want to see your beans, if you're a start-up there may not be an easy way of even the collector of beans to know what they have. Plus there tends to be a lot out for a while at the start, to offset the amount in when absolute amounts are calculated. And let me tell, you, trying to save the planet is not cheap.
But we're hopeful. A category like ‘Online Business’ is a definite match. ‘Best use of Technology’ hopeful (computers, databasing, search, ideas, making stuff,.. hi tech to promote low tech... to promote good practice). ‘Micro Business’ is a must, as you don't get much more micro than us. ‘Innovative’.. .well, need we say more? ‘Community Impact’... modesty prevents, but between pretty much everything we do, and especially stuff such as RE-Box, Green nappies, our charities initiative, etc, we think we're ok there.
Even the statement of what they are looking for is refreshing: ‘Originality of Thought’ (saving the planet AND making money from junk?). ‘Customer Satisfaction’ (ditto), ‘Balanced Approach to Work/life’ (on balance, the family had to go on holiday without me while we're launching this summer). ‘Sheer Bravery and Guts’ (One of our complementitors - guys by whom we should be supported and with whom we should working, but do get measured by reaching & teaching the public - seem to be keeping their communications budgets to themselves for now. Go figure.) had £20M last year to play with, while I’m looking enviously at the boys' piggy banks. ‘Building the Community’ (where to start/). ‘Flexibility in Working Practices (sure you can work at the weekend,,!).
Of course, as it was not a 'weekday-job' I have just sprinted down the Post Office to get it off registered in time for Monday's deadline. And as Emma, Queen of Filing, wasn't here I couldn't find half the neat things I only just thought of to stick in the pack. But it has gone, and no more to concern ourselves with until we hear back. Or don't.
The judging will be taking place over the next few weeks, so they will miss our main consumer campaign later this year, which is what we start-ups do to get going. Which means that, as a start-up, a lot of what we're up to may need to be taken on trust for now, though a roam around the site can't hurt.
So if you know any of the sponsors, or judges, please feel free to have a wee word...
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