Thursday, October 04, 2007

And I still have all my teeth!

Junkk.com costs a lot of money. And time. So only today I was at a networking bash trying to drum up some work for the other thing I do - copywriting - to pay a few bills.

I am therefore not encouraged by this: THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM IN ADVERTISING

I print it all here as there are some key bits I need to highlight:

Don't look away. I'm not covered with boils or zits. I am not unwashed or uneducated. I don't shout, play my mobile phone loudly, or leak spittle onto my chin. I don't put my feet onto the seat in front of me. I don't rabbit on about Iraq, the common market or Cherie Blair's mouth.

(Perhaps I should?) I am not the ugly man on the Victoria train begging for money, who always gets off at Brixton.

It's just that I'm old. No, please don't look away.

It's a cardinal sin in advertising- especially in London. Everybody knows about it, and nobody does anything about it. I've been to all the headhunters, and as soon as they see me, they have said, one after another, "it's ageism, I'm sorry, it's London. I can't do anything about it. It's just the way it is." Is there anywhere a copywriter in their 40's? Their 50's? What about an art director in their late 50's? With awards, too?

Talking about headhunters? Yes 39 of them - that takes in pretty much everyone, doesn't it? I've yet to hear from any of them. Are they useless or plain *****ing useless, or are they just following orders? And I still apply for stuff all over the world on the net, but as you know, of a 100, only two ever bother to reply, months later, to say that job has been cancelled.

The law supposedly banning ageism came into force in 2006.There was even an ad campaign by BBH. Did anybody register a slightest difference? No.

Another Labour whitewash. There are agencies with bean bags, that resemble kindergartens. Specially geared to the young, obviously. It's deliberately difficult for anyone over 30 to get up from those. Although I've stopped putting my date of birth on the CV, it doesn't take a genius to work out your age.

What was my biggest sin? I went abroad. In that time, the swallowing up of agencies happened. Everyone was bought up, or wanted to be bought up, and they still do. Everyone I ever worked with, is and has been, out of work for decades. Talented people. Big shots. People who were my creative directors, with awards and fancy cars. They're existing on their spouses' salaries- women always manage to get work somewhere, it seems. That's of those I've managed to trace. The rest have disappeared. They're probably running antique shops, dog obedience academies, accordion schools or have become driving instructors.

The biggest insult? Today I got a mailer from Sun Life- there's an irony- about a funeral plan

RE: THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM IN ADVERTISING
by: BR team

Unfortunately, the facts support Beverly’s experience. According to the IPA census report published in January, the mean age of the 17,367 people working in creative and media agencies is 33.4, with 47.5% of the permanent workforce aged 30 or under. Only 13.2% are aged 31-40 and only 4.6% are aged 51-60 (or 795 people in the whole industry. And for that fast growing UK age demographic of 60+? Only 94 people or 0.5% work in advertising.

So I wrote in:

I hear you (amazingly, without the need for a hearing aid, too).

It's odd, isn't it? All those committees and talking heads spouting off about legalisation and all, but when push comes to shove there's an awful lot that needn't happen between CV and interview post sound-bite. But a equal-opp box is still ticked each second, I'm sure.

Me....? I was thinking of knocking at least a decade off (as my kids are not even teenagers yet), investing in some Grecian 2000 and lying through my teeth to get at least to a point in a personal mano-a-munchkin exchange in which 'their' overt ageism will be worse than 'my' fibbing on a form. Who dares, wins... compo! I really don't understand what the problem is in their heads. As a a twenty-something writer my loyalty was about as reliable as my attention span and I'd jump for a tenner more, or less if there was a chance at tee-vee. What do they think we mature types are going to do - croak pulling an all-nighter or leave within a year?

Or maybe I'll just work virtually, as really it what you can do that matters, not who you are. The porty, after all... is all, right? Or, from what you say, perhaps not.

What was that movie about the McCarthy era when those with talent and experience had to hire 'acceptable' faces to 'be' them just to get work: The Front?

I'm thinking it might be a wheeze to create a virtual agency of hip young things who don't need to be paid so much on what they can do as how they look, all 'fed' by the real brains who don't fit the image but can still crank out great work (that also works for clients' bottom lines every bit as much as Ivy-envy-generating awards) from the comfort of home.

Make a heck of a reality TV show... if any chrome-dome,
Specsavers-sporting yoof types in broadcasting are up for a real idea with some legs:)

Failing which, well, looking on the bright side, my car insurance is getting cheaper!

Sorry, Junkk-regulars, that this is not too much on eco-mode, but I needed to vent a bit on the state of how things get run, and it does extend to government and beyond, so it could well extend to how this planet is gettingmis-managed by hype over experience at a stretch.

ADDENDUM

The incendiary tax?

In the 'fight back', I have noticed the well-trained..er.. briefed cabinet clones and supporting sympathetic/sycophantic media are spinning this as applicable to a very small number of folk and dependents who don't deserve 'it'.

I'll have to leave the reality of that to the lies, damn lies and political number crunchers to fight over.

All I know is that when my Mum hit 75 she could no longer look after herself. So we sold her big house and popped her in a small one next to ours so I could keep an eye on her. Ten years on the system still seems to be working out OK but we're hitting end point soon I fear.

At no point has she been a real burden on 'society' as the family has looked after her, and her own funds have kept her comfortable and helped us in doing so too.

Thing is, at 50, and having worked from home for a decade, with my old CV, any attempt to hit the workforce as a consequence of various downturns, combined with the farce that is the equal opportunity legislation on any practical application (ask anyone over 40 - who admits to it - how a CV gets treated), means I am looking at a very long creek ahead and a very short paddle.

What's left of Mum's legacy would go a long way to mitigating that and help me feel a bit better about where my future will be placed without being a burden on the kids or society either.

So to all those well paid and golden pensioned Ministers and media luvvies who can't see how this might play well with those who do work hard and try and keep things in the family, I have a very short phrase for you: at least I still have my vote.

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