It's not who you know, but who you owe (or don't?).

Just asking, so's I can get this straight.

Ignoring for now that the amount in dollars would tend to indicate the savings may not be solely within these fair shores, how much did 'we' contribute so 'they' could save it?

It's just that I recall this was raised a while ago, and never heard an answer.

While I'm the last to get sniffy about funding, especially on the small matter of paybacks, why does a major multi-million multinational fmcg need help of this nature in the first place? I must move in the wrong circles.

The most abused word in English (currently)?

I like this question mark lark. Or rather, perhaps I should say: is this question mark lark the new black?

No? Well, if it isn't, I reckon the word 'innovate' (and its various nouns, etc) is.

It just crops up everywhere. In this case it's an ad for a job. But it could be a fund, or a policy or whatever.

Thing is, as far as I can make out, as soon as you see that word the last thing anyone connected with it actually wants to find turning up on the doorstep is anything actually innovative. Because, by definition, it hasn't bee seen or done or heard of before. Which is scary, when you have a career based on measuring, assessing, gatekeeping, valuing and backside-covering to protect.

And I keep getting suckered. I get told that what's being looked for is a new way of thinking, or that they want to break the mould, or they need a fresh mind, and when I go off and craft something that's on brief but off-beat, they go all 'but that's not what we're used to getting' on me.

I actually applied for a Creative Innovation grant once, and having spent days on it was rather disappointed that my proposal wasn't favoured. The reason? It was too creative and innovative. That'll teach me. At least it should have.

Money for nothing, but the drinks are... being toasted in ad land!

I am jealous. I figured out a while ago that there was money to be made in them thar green hills.

But rather than stick with what I knew, which was ads, I got into publishing, because I wanted to make a difference as well.

So far, it's still a struggle, but glimmers are showing.

However, as a creative person and ex-agency owner, I weep at the amount of money being poured into CSR ads... with few making sense to me, let alone seeming intended to make a real difference. Anyone recall AIDAR? That's Grab (Attention) - Stimulate (Interest &/Or) Desire - Provoke (Action/Response)!

TVCs, DPS and Full and Half-page 4c extravaganzas with production costs alone in the 10s if not 100's or thousands, all in media that add millions to the budget, and saying what.. to whom?

I love the discipline of posters. Eight words or less, complemented by a picture, to tell a story. Yes, copy can be necessary to add to the sales pitch.

But what, exactly, do you get from 'Taking the lead by putting nature first?" Note the ? I guess they are not sure.

Or, how about "If someone says environment, what springs to mind?" Er, green stuff. Pretty picture. Turn the page. I'm sure they have challenges, but may day gets better how?

Gis' some, please. And we'll even rewrite them for nothing actually talk to a targeted audience plus have a benefit that may provoke a response, too.

You never know, you may sell something, too. I assume that's what they're for?

It just won't... should be washed

I'm mucking about with self-promo at the moment. All electronic obviously, for reasons of cost but mainly we don't have anyone's addresses, and of course we'd like to keep the junk mail burden to a minimum.

But we do accept that some is necessary. Marketing and jobs depend on it. I also enjoy a good piece of DM if it's well targeted, creative and useful.

Which brings me to mail washing. I'm on my own now. So while I don't mind getting something for me, it does strike one as frustrating when you get multiples. Now I've just noticed on this there is a way to cancel the duds, and it is an 0800 number so I hope it's free. Frankly I'd prefer a URL, and a simple code-based deletion system, like an online unsubscribe. But here's a laugh.. I just dialed it - 0800 15 14 14 - and.. it doesn't work. So the next option is to .. send it back by mail! D'Oh.

Maybe.... we should draw up a central service to make these things work properly. Like the e/F/TPS, but not to stop such things, but manage them centrally. A plan?

ps: These all came as you see them. Flapping about with no plastic sleeve. How was that possible, and why can't the rest do it?

My esteemed self

I think I've got it wrong, but a friend recently gave me the definition of an 'expert' as 'a has been who is little more than a drip'.

I was (poorly, obviously) reminded of this by one of the flood (well, a few - another 3rd party service now under review) of replies to a press release I did to the nation's media regarding our upcoming show and what we'll have on display.

Naturally this was not someone buying, but in this case selling... the opportunity to sell me as an 'expert' when the media need a quick bon mot or quote.

I have to say I was, and am, tempted. But I did call them up to say I was not really an expert, but more an well-informed and opinionated sod. 'Perfect,' they said.

Due flattery (and a sale) aside, I am thinking of proceeding. Obviously there is the opportunity for coverage, but so long as I clearly outline where I am coming from (and this gets accepted and acknowledged by the media... another story) I think there is a case for a bit of consumer advocacy that is not 'expert', and proud to be so.

Because most experts fall into camps, and while this makes for good slanging matches, it does not serve the large number of us who really don't know, but are able to arrive at some kind of a decision (even if it is not black or white) if enough 'What if's' are thrown in.

Of course, there is the down side.

But, by George, damn the torpedoes... I think I'll do it!

Stealing from Peter to pay Pa.. Who, Exactly?

Why doesn't this - Row over renewable energy scheme - surprise me?

"A promised £10m to help fund projects like wind power... [but] it has emerged schemes to promote double-glazing and insulation are to be cut to fund it."

Do what!!!? This is huge. And if a BBC environement correspodent comes flat out and criticised it, then everyone knows it.

Classic case of hype winning over what's right. Nil points.

How to succeed in the UK: leave!

Last night I attended a talk held in our very own little town, by a true giant of British Innovation and Manufacturing, Edwin Atkin. It was he who created, developed, built-up and eventually sold the Avent brand.

For a man just past 60 who is now worth a few hundred million £, and fresh from dinner with David Cameron the night before, he was truly charming, fascinating, honest, opinionated and indeed earthy at times. I was inspired, but also slightly depressed.

In a broad-ranging, note-free lecture indispersed with several Q&As, he laid out how he succeeded and how he thought others could still. But it came with some less than thrilling predictions and rather startling advice. His adventures with authorities, banks and the like had us in stitches, especially when he could turn the tables on someone who thought they could stop him or rip him off and tell 'em to 'stick it where de sun don't shine'. Often that took a lot of moral and indeed financial courage, despite his obvious security as a businessman, both personally and financially. He is one of the few who I believe when they say 'that's not how I do businesss' (when referring to sharp practice). Make no mistake, he is no softy, and is as sharp as a knife, but he is also someone who retains a sense of honour (and humour) and knows that making a difference does not need to mean abandoning your principles and simply making all you can, as quickly as you can.

He is now semi-retired, and one reason is the erosion of the entrepreneurial spirit by PC mania and bean counters in authority and businesss. He effectively got out before the going gets more tricky. Not good for the likes of me, but he remained encouraging to keep trying. The other shocker was the simple advice to leave the UK to do it. That doesn't mean abandoning it as a market, but to stop thinking of it as the main focus. His gaze was cast West to the USA. This is potentially momentous, but having lived and worked around the globe, I share his belief that this country internally has a remarkably overrated view of itself. Trouble is, this is where my family is, and hopping on a plane to Chicago is not quite an option at the moment.

Worse, other than the opportunity to share such an evening in convivial and intimate surroundings, I am not exactly in networking central. His advice to that was 'get out more'. Well, as he kindly said 'please get in touch', I most certainly will. Who knows who he may be able to introduce me to to get us the business complement we need. Too late for the British Invention Show next week I suspect, but with luck a great possible contact and maybe even mentor for the future.

To CO too, or not to CO too... that is the question?

CO stands for 'carbon offset'.

And here I wish we could afford to stump up for every paid subscription that may lead to a rich seam. But sadly, we can't, so I'll just have to use the tantalising first few paras of this piece, like my own, headlined as a question, to wonder about the wisdom of a certain practice: Are carbon offsets an excuse to carry on polluting?

The short answer is, and without being able to read on I'm no better informed from this piece (not their fault), I don't really know.

The theme being taken above is that it simply becomes a way to not feel guilty about doing something, and hence you just keep on doing it. Which can't be good, especially when that is punting goop into the atmosphere in pursuit of la dolce vita. But on the other hand, if those that do it will do it anyway, then at least whacking a fir in a desert to compensate may be better than nothing. Unless it dies of course. Then it's worse.

My greater concern is that, despite being perhaps more immersed than most in the whole e-arena, I am really none the wiser as to what these schemes are, how they work, who runs them, who monitors them, etc. A bit like some of the 'give your mobile/ink cartridge.. to us and we'll help charity schemes' that abound.

And so, perhaps inaccurately, I have an odd unease that the money may not be going where it could and should, and as efficiently. How much gets sucked up in salaries, offices, pension plans and Club Class trips to Bali to discuss how awful global warming is, before the first seedling is planted or wind farm planning bri... incentive (the validity of such schemes being another mission I'm on) paid?

It gets added to a long list, but I think I'm going to try and find out.

SOSO - Same Old, Same Old

A wee while ago I engaged in an exchange with a Telegraph Motoring columnist, Sir. John Whitmore, following a column of his about motoring correspondents, cars & driving in general and climate change (not necessarily in that order).

It was an odd one, because I am pretty much on his side in terms of what is happening and what should no longer happen, but a little less on message with the how. Specifically I was not a great supporter of his pointing fingers. Anyway, it was a civilized discussion, which I duly shared - pro and con - on this blog (try finding it, though.... waaaaaay back), but sadly we seemed to get no further than to agree to disagree.

Hence it was with interest, after a fair elapse of time (though I obviously missed the column that this one follows, and refers to), that I find he is back on this subject: All steamed up about climate change.

As an erudite and informed writer, I was interested to see how things had moved on since the last time.

Sad to say, I'm afraid I'd have to say not a lot.

There was the inevitable 'It's going pear-shaped, we're doomed' side in the green corner, and the 'yahboos, we're not/sowhats?' with their heads stuck in the bucket of the opposite one. It all got a bit cerebral at times, it seems hinging on the placement or omission of a few words.

So what did I, Mr. Average, non car-racing, jet-set-travelling, carbon offsetting, etc, get out of it all. Well, sod... all, really, bar this: "I would favour a big hike in fuel tax so that costs are directly related to consumption and distance travelled, provided there is a means of helping the less well-off." I await that means being identified.

He did also mention my point about population, but like the love that dare not speak its name, so we won't go there either.

On balance, he was right on almost every count, and I envy the fee such pieces earn (composed no doubt at home and served up electronically, though how the networking to get the gig takes place I do wonder), but really, did this move anything on? You could argue the same about this piece, but I'd like to think that if I did (and I must say I'd fancy it) write a piece of this nature, I'd pop in a few more positive solutions. Try here to be going on with.

Eureka!

In all the excitement I do believe I haven't blogged on one of the biggest events in our calendar this year, which is taking place next week: the British Invention Show!

After the duds in recent past, this one has a great vibe, with some truly fun and eclectic stuff being exhibited. I'm hoping what Junkk.com can offer will strike a chord with fellow inventors, visitors and the media. We'll have the usual collection on show, plus some new bits and bobs. I'm also hoping to catch the eye of some possible partners with some commercial ideas I've had in the re:use area.

Do come and visit.

Author! Author!

Another from the network archives, with yet more interesting overlaps between the supposed day job (ad writing) and the night-time hobby/addiction: Junkk.com.

A while ago, following the invitation of our lovely Chief of Prose and Comms Anita, I joined a 'writers collective'. It rejoices under the numeric title of '26', which was the number of original members and, possibly with complicated consequences in due course, the annual subscription in £.

Don't know much about the money, which compared to a lot of such things seems pretty reasonable, but the membership has grown a lot, numbering now in the hundreds.

Sadly they are based in London, and that is where most evening events take place, so it was only thanks to my jaunting around recently that I managed to at last attendd a gathering. And a fine one it was too, coinciding with The London Design Festival, held in the Old Truman Brewery, Brick Lane. Other than the trip (back home about 3am), I am very glad I went.

I met a pleasant, eclectic collection of individuals from the creative world, and of course do hope that some card-swapping that took place will result in mutually-rewarding cooperation.

And as has proven successful so far at every event, my sporting the Vac:Sac led to my being approached to find out what it was, and what it was I did. And so throughout the evening I never wanted for an audience for the Junkk.com gospels. Best of all, it being a wordsmith-based soiree, it led to my meeting some publishers, and though things have bubbled in the back of my head on the subject before, it becomese pretty clear that a book to run alongside the website was deemed quite a good idea. All I have to do now is find the time to write it. Or at least a synopsis. Sadly, scouting for an estate next to JK Rowling is a tad premature, as the amounts being bandied about rather explained why the great and good of literary history seemed to die young of dodgy diseases and despair.

But on balance it was nice to know that some potential was seen in a new but complementary area.

To finish this upbeat tale on a sadder note, check out the picture (flyer for site called stopurban4x4s.org.uk). In advance of th event I had been sent this by a fellow member who was inspired by Junkk.com's mission. He was not attending but was a fellow ewarrior, and lived out West, so a budding relationship was in the offing. Sadly, with my oversized honest streak, I felt it necessary to tell him my support for anti 4x4 campaigns was not quite so ardent as his.

However, as the piece in question was quite witty, not aggressive and hence a view well worth sharing, so I offered to post it on the site. I have not to this day heard back. This is a pity, as I do feel that we can work together to improve the overall way of things without requiring total matching of beliefs from those with whom one may wish to partner.

It's a record!

In as much as First Lady PJ wrote and performed our Junkk jingle, this can have a proud place on the blog.

Because the latest album she has created with her bandmates at greenhaus is now ready!

And pretty spiffy it looks too.

Also note the CD... is a record. Neat or what? Sounds pretty amazing, too.

Here's some I made before the programme.... for nothing!

I'm a sucker for gadget brochures and websites.

And while I know that Junkk.com is unlikely to come up with a large percentage of the gizmos that are just soooo hard to resist, it always inspires me when I come across something that has been on our pages for a fair old while. Especially when we are showing folk how to do it for free. Lids. Corkboard. Gutter.

Mind you, looking at some of these prices, I'm in the wrong business.

But between the various awards and shows this month, I think we might drum up some if we try. I doubt we'll ever put anyone on the street as folk will always be lazy, but for those who fancy it, it's nice to have the option to save.

A rolling stone?

The whole 'E/Re' issue continues apace, and with every article I read I have to hope that we stand poised to be at least a small but significant part of the solution to a very big problem.

Take this for instance: Politicians will have to start talking rubbish for a change

Of course I have written to the author:

"Nice article.
Meantime, I guess we could also always think about reusing stuff rather than throwing it away."

I guess I should add to the blog, too. There were a few good links in there that I used!

If you know when it's bad you can do good

Catch up day, today!

Yet more archives from the past to work through, log, comment upon and file for later.

There certainly seems to be a rather fun mood in the design world these days, with a few quirky contests and exhibitions abounding.

Shame almost all are in London, though.

Anyways, one such was the 'Bad Design Awards', which I'm sorry I missed, especially when I now see how much effort was put into the show.

Anyway, you can see some of the features here. Look under: OUR WORK and scroll down to: BAD DESIGN AMNESTY.

Seem like a nice bunch. I dropped them a line to see if there may be some fun we could have with Junkk.com. Sound of breath being held.

I may not agree with what you say, but will admire you with all my heart if you articulate it politely and well

Actually, the headline pretty much says it all. And if it doesn't the letter I just popped over to the Green Party HQ certainly will.

I recently saw one of those artillery exchanges I dread so much, where the news media set up two opposing sides and feed of the collateral scraps.

Only this time a young Green Party spokesperson called Sian Berry showed how things can, and should be done. Big up to her.

"I may not always agree with everything that gets said by one party of another in the ongoing environmental debates we are now seeing more and more of, but one thing I do appreciate is a person who puts their case well and maintains their dignity and respect in the process, and often in the face of rather unnecessary and/or aggressive tactics. As really the only method such material can be brought to us, the 'moderators' are by default the media and their operatives, and it does amaze me how much they are complicit in rendering serious and interesting avenues of discussion trivial and altogether too polarised simply in a desire for ratings. Hence it was with some pleasure I witnessed the exchanges between Ms. Berry and Prof. (of Forecasting?) James Woudhysen on the BBC recently, and congratulate her on a truly impressive performance."

It's not what you're known for, but merely that you're known

What a week!

I am still staring at a pile of stuff to catch up on from the two week networking extravaganza, as there were a few pretty important deadlines to meet.

First up was the Green Awards entries. In the end I opted for three (at £50+VAT still quite a commitment): B2B DM and copywriting with the Folda Holda (and contents, which I had packed with pretty much everything I'd ever written fro Junkk.com); and B2C DM, which was the credit card wallet photo frame, which I stuck in the standee for good measure, even though there was nocollaterala/POS category. Fingers crossed.

Then there was the big one. The first draft entry for the Social Entrepreneur Awards. That was a lot of work. Fortunately most of the information they required was in our original and updated Business Plans (which got us the first grants), but trying to get a few hundred pages of heavy info and data to ten was...Interesting. Plus I had all sorts of fun with the Excel budget sheets. I thought I'd cracked it but then it started adding things up in Yen. At one stage I had lost a £trillion by year 3. Actually, the way it feels still, maybe I have.


I always dead Friday lat pmbecausese that was when, in the ad world, clientet would phone up with a 'small change'. And with Junkk.com it's usually a cock-up or setback gets announced and spoils the weekend.

Not this time.

I was called by a lovely lady from the BBC. She'd been told about us and was interested in a possible feature for a kids' show called the Wonderful World of Weird. Now after the whole Womble thing I'm wary of being typecast as a bit of a nutter, but profile is profile, so let's hope it comes to pass. At least between the awards and this there are a few bases being covered!

Just the facts, Ma'am, unless they get in the way of a better headline, of course

There's a brilliant blog/newsletter called 'Bad Science' (I think I've blogged on it before).

Well worth subscribing to.

The most recent topic, How To Read A Paper - For Journalists, at last got me to write in:

"A great Idea.

I know your primary area of interest is health, but I'd like to pop in a request for environmental issues, because I think the public are particularly poorly served by objective analysis with these in making informed decisions. All to often it's just a straight serve of a press release or a deliberate use of the latest 'research' as an excuse for a dramatic headline.

You'll find me screaming at the TV when a vanilla or a bouffant with a microphone standing next to an electric car cheerfully announces that it 'has no emissions'. No, they simply come out of another pipe, and actually I'd like to know what the losses are getting from the generator to the motor, environmentally speaking.

As to climate change/global warming, well, it's been said over and over again, but to most ordinary folk it's just a load of contradictory hot air: artillery exchanges over our heads in no person's land, leaving us none the wiser on what to do for the best.

Me, I simply think it's a shame to waste. And to a lot of editors I'd say it's also a waste to shame: get positive and proactive! It's not as easy writing an upbeat headline, but there's enough out there that will capture folks' attentions, as I truly believe they are dying for solutions and things to 'do', and not be fed constantly on a diet of things you can't."

I really think I'm on to something Green

When the business cartoonists start lampooning the whole thing, I think we're in with a chance.

I hope he (or the Telegraph) won't mind my showing it in full. Here's their URL to sign up for the free daily feed.

The ITanic Versus

Well, they do say nothing is ever original.

For a while now I have been toying with writing a book about my expereinces with Junkk.com. With a twist. Seems my idea is not as twisted as I thought: The essential guide to screwing up your business

Anyhoo, it gave me a good excuse to write and promote the site a little bit more:

"Curses. And I thought I was the only one to hit on this notion.

Was it Churchill who said 'The Man [I don't think he was big on PC] who never made a mistake never made anything'?.

On that basis I must have made a lot of stuff, so I figured on collating all my cock-ups - not in a ‘How to’ book, but a 'How Not to..' version. ‘How not to hire a PR agency’. ‘How not to spend your match funding’. ‘How not to avoid gatekeeper brand managers with tunnel vision when you should be locating the JR in the company’, etc.

As I'm a very small 's' SME , I think it may still find a niche in complement to your and JR's multi-national blue-chip experiences.

Provisional title is 'The ITanic Versus - What NOT To Do When Launching A Commercial Website'

Think it's still worth pursuing? We could share a publisher:)"