Baked couch potatoes

You may not be using much as you slump in front of the console of your game, but it is. And some more than others... or not. This from the Guardian, and my reply:

This is why I love blogs. And am so frustrated by them.

I pounced on this because I thought to myself, 'ey up, this looks like a worthy addition to our (Junkk.com) section on home electronics, and folk can not only decide on bells and whistles, but eco-considerations for gaming consoles, too.

But then I read on. And what was up was down. And black was white. Who was the genuine tester of juice consumption, and who was the PR agency for a) Microsoft, b) Sony or c) Nintendo?

Now I do have one of those energy meters, but all I have is an XBox, which doubtless is not as good as a 360. And I certainly cannot afford to buy the others to do a comparison and/or review. In any case I get blown up before the chip has come out of hibernate, so it wouldn't be apples vs. apples anyway.

Sod it.

I guess I'll just trust Pish & Slashdot for now.

Or watch this space a bit longer to see what next transpires. Sheesh.

I think'll I just watch people play footy. Or... play it myself!

Your tax £ at work

Golly. Who'd have thunk? This hoot from the Daily Mail. I had to pitch in.

And how much from the public purse will be forked out to him, the geniuses that put him in, the ones who got him out (sideways promotions and gold-plated pensions all round!), the various interested parties in debating and pursuing both sides of what I'm sure will be a long a protracted case (including, one presumes, with no small sense of irony, the missus of the guy he was protecting) with much offence to be taken all round? Plus of course, those who will wallow in the reporting (and drumming up) of same.

Lunatics. Asylum (cripes, don't let's get started on another thread!) anyone?

Gordon, we need another tax initiative to fund this, quick!

So how much from your chip & bin fine will go to reuse, and how much to the Plod who nicks you's early retirement on account of the stress of smelly bin diving?

Taking Sides

I wish we were not so strapped as to be pinching pennies left and right, especially when it comes to good intel.

Because I would dearly love to have read the full text of this piece in the Indy: Dominic Lawson: The dangers of crying wolf over the climate

Moving swiftly on from the observation that he gets paid to say what I have been banging on about for years, at least it's nice to see that the paper can entertain views that are not so slavish as to render the cause less effective.

Into the valley of dead box tickers, went the optimistic innovator (again)

I don't think you can do this with RSS feeds, as I believe you get served what they think you'll like.

Because I was having a little trawl in the Telegraph, and off to one side was a contest.

Well, we know I'm a glutton for punishment, so it should come as no surprise that I decided to have a look despite it having the words 'Innovation Awards' in there, which has not proven to be the most fruitful use of my time of late, what with us apparently not being deemed very innovative or much to do with making a social or enviromental difference and all.

But I think I may just give it one last try...

ps: Couldn't resist the irony of this being headed by an ad dragging you off on a cheap skiing holiday. If the snow is melting around you, ponder that one as you fly home.

DIYD2

That's my new acronym, which stands for 'Damned if you do. Damned if you don't'.

And I introduce it having read this: 'Give Children hats to save on heating'.

Now, I'm no great fan of npower (try ecotricity!), but what the heck is all this about?

And at risk of being a pot to other's kettles, what are these critics actually saying? That no one can suggest ways to reduce heating bills? I seem to recall a lot of stuff flying about on dropping the thermostat and wearing a jummy. But a pair of socks and a beanie is going too far?

I'm sure their hearts are in the right places, and if there wan't such stuff they wouldn't have much to do, but I'd just love to know who pays these guys to come up with this nonsense. Oh, let me think... it's probably us.

Those who can, do.. if someone doesn't try to stop them

Still getting my feet under the table. For once I have decided to pick up with 'now' rather than worry about 'then' first, though I do hope to post on a few bits from my jaunt last week.

This one was too good not to share: Beware, reading this could really get your goat

It was the first one about charging the guy landfill tax for using waste to create a wetland reserve that really stuck home.

Of course there are those who will say (isn't that neat media speak for 'I'm going to ask this but don't want to be held accountable for the question') that it's easy to highlight the few such travesties that will inevitably occur.

But frankly it happens too often to be anything but a concern, and a trend to watch with horror. I don't see it reversing. How could it? The desire to cover one's backside is creating ever more backside coverers, whose first instinct is inevitably to make their mark by covering more backsides. Will we end up with a culture entirely composed of those who monitor and restrict those who try to do stuff, only to find there are none left to impose upon?

I applaud the media for highlighting this. But I do criticise for the manner. It has become a quick harrumph and a snigger. I very much doubt anything changed as a result of these idoicies being spotlighted. No names shamed. In fact I'm sure those responsible for the one I mention above are now Heads of Policy for some new quango... and doubtless at a conference on global warming in Bali as I write.

A Stern Warning

Well, I'm back! Missed me?

And if my in-box is anything to go by, I certainly have missed a heck of a lot while I was cut off in the wilds of Scotland these last several days.

It would appear that we have yet another report to get everyone excited (the Stern one, and I am not going to claim that my quick headline was by any means the first to make that pun). I think I gave up counting at 30 the number of press releases and/or comments from every quarter in my in-box. So I guess I should read it.

What would have been nice is that if anyone, anywhere, had anything new to say, especially anything positive or helpful. Hence I don't propose to cite any URLs here*. Type 'Stern' into Google and watch your browser explode.

On Sunday morning I was watching some religious programme on the Beeb, which as far as I could gather was making a theological pitch for the whole global warming debate. Fair enough; it's all getting rather apocalyptic.

Trouble is, like usual, the two guests I caught were straight out of the 'let's throw two polar opposites in the ring and see what repels most' school of media ratings hype. So we had some chubby yuppy capitalist in a suit saying the usual 'Why bother recycling', and the equally inevitable Earth-mother activist shaking her head and getting agitated.

As Corporal Fraser would say in Dad's Army, if this is all that we can manage... 'We're all doomed, I tell ye... doomed!'.

*OK, I changed my mind. I watched 'Have I Got News For You' the same night and it was mighty funny on this issue. Trouble is, they were mighty funny becuase they couldn't make head nor tail of it all and decided it was best to laugh it off.

That is of course one way. Here is a slightly more digestible form I've come across in the Guardian (potential editorial agenda noted) the next day, so we can try and, oo, I don't know... deal with it?

The Empires strike

As this is based on a story - Speed camera fines used to buy plasma TVs and T-shirts - about speed cameras, you may wonder what it is doing here.

Well, for a start, I am about to leave for a week's writer's retreat (time to brush up on the day job skills) in Inverness, and as I journey to the far North my Road Angel will have pride of place on the dash, allowing me to look at the road and not obsess about staying within a few mph of a limit.

But mostly it is the point about how these quangos spend their money, which does resonate with our experience.

One could, just, accept that revenues generated by such things do help if they are ploughed back into improving matters on the ground. But they simply are not.

Be it an EU fund or fine-related income, the vast percentage goes to creating and maintaining empires that benefit none but those within them. Offices (head and regional). Salaries (it's easy to be not for profit when you blow a bundle on a six figure board). Pensions. But then there is the creeping trend towards self-promotion. Massive amounts on propaganda to justify their existences.

And this I think is where we at Junkk.com suffer, especially when applying for support. We too are communicating. And that rains on some cosy parades.

Maybe now our rates are going through the roof (that we just insulated, thereby improving the desireability of the property and hence its value), they can divert some of the money to, oo, I don't know, catching dangerous, uninsured drivers?

Judging the judges?

It's my version of 'watching the detectives'. Who are these people? What qualifies them?

Of course, it may not just be the judges; it can also, or instead, be the judging process. What pressures exist from sponsors and organisers?

It has not been a good week for awards applications.

On top of the disappointment with the UnLtd. funding, I stumbled across the shortlist for the Green Awards. We're not on it.

This was a surprise, as I hadn't realised there was a shortlist. Does this mean that there was some preselection? If so, I was not aware of it when I entered. Also the categories seem to have changed since I applied. And while the previous awards were simply a waste of time, these ones also involved money.

There is a temptation to shrug and let things pass. There are those immortal words 'the judges decision is final', closely followed by 'no correspondence will be entertained.' But did the judges even see what was entered. Or was my nemesis in life and business, the gatekeeper, again at work?

But this brings me back to process. As with the Big idea, what was it that got me from a good chance to an also ran? Especially as, in the case of the SKY effort, I started the day with three thumbs up, and I now know that a few of those who got through only had one or two, and a rough ride. What other factors were at play?

This one is worth pursuing as far as I can take it.

I have tracked down some of the shortlisted efforts. A few are not bad. But in the categories I applied for, B2B DM, B2C DM and copy (for the Folda Holda), I'd have to say, totally subjectively, that our entries were pretty good in comparison, both creatively, and especially environmentally. For heaven's sake, this is a green award and in all these cases we had a reusable concept where the rest were volumes of guff destined for the recycling bin. And they claim it is all about 'creativity'.

And along the way, the below £100k classification, which we most certainly met, seems to have been dropped. So all of a sudden we're mixed in with large wadges of wonga being thrown at the wall in the hope of hitting some target.

But with bitter irony, as I post this I am also sending off my entry to the next set of awards. At least one, the Webbys, has a cheap category (rather worryingly called 'Weird'), which I only realised having racked up bout $3k (hurriedly deleted) ticking all the other relevant boxes to Junkk.com's function, and the other, Technology for Marketing, is free and none too time consuming.

Breath is now being held.

Why can Greens be good for you? This!

There's odd. There's silly. There's hypocritical. There's barking. And, to quote Douglas Adams in Hitch-hikers Guide, there's 'First against the wall when the revolution comes'.

I don't usually do e-petitions. I have now. Do join in. We may even save some time, save some money... and the planet (now where have I heard that before? Which is more than I can say for this petition. It will be interesting to see if it crops up in the major media. If not, thank you Green MEPs!)

Limited UnLtd.

Well, that's one Press Release I don't have to write, I guess.

Just back to a letter saying I was not going to get the money I'd applied for from the UnLtd. Millennium Awards Trust (the Guardian thing, or maybe not).

I'm obviously more than disappointed, but not too surprised.

It started so well. A fund that was designed to encourage social entrepreneurship. Better yet, with the money apparently not meant for buying kit or consultants, but supposedly to be paid directly to the individual in recognition that to start such enterprises takes time and effort which can eat in to earning a living with the day job.

I guess I should have seen what was coming. For a start having been vetted through the first round, I was required to take a whole day off to be briefed on making the application. Fair enough. But having fought my way up to Birmingham, I was less than thrilled to spend most of the day sitting watching a guy read his own PowerPoint presentation out to us. Even less so that all the topics had already been covered in the forms I'd submitted to get through the first round. But hey ho, met a few nice folk and had a free lunch. Whatever floats their box-ticking boat and consumes the money they cream off to fund the office, directors, pensions, etc, to dole this largesse out.

The most encouraging part was actually at the start of the day, when the big cheese leapt in to make his speech, which was suitably 'ra-ra', but did end with him saying that any of us who had commissioned professional awards application consultants should fire them now.. 'because we want to get a feel for the real you'. As a creative person struggling in a sea of suits and red tape, this was music to my ears.

It was also a load of b*****cks.

I was actually impressed and grateful that we got to pre-submit our application to assess whether it was pushing the requisite buttons. Except that it was like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. If I was from Mars, the guy at the other end was from Uranus. He just couldn't see where I was coming from and I certainly couldn't see how he could not see what I saw as obvious. Friends in the corporate world tried to help, and certainly must have improved matters from my original: 'It's too passionate'. 'It's so you, but without knowing you that might put the men in grey off'. Fair do's. But I thought they wanted the real me.

They didn't. I have had my 'Dear Peter' letter. Several days work down the tubes.

I write this to vent, but also to make note to investigate further on all these cash sinks on the public purse. What is supported? Why? What happens to the money?

It's not really sour grapes. I just wanted the dough. And the PR would have been good on top.

But I'm afraid what really pushed my buttons was the cc'd form letter 'that recognised all the hard work' and 'to assist with future applications outlined the reasons I was not successful':

'The project proposal does not demonstrate that it has the potential to become sustainable or that significant social impact or social change will be delivered.

As to the former, I am just starting out and need help. That is why I am applying. I could lie through my teeth but gave my best shot at what had happened and could happen. Looking at others who have succeeded, and some that will doubtless get this grant, I can only wonder at the level of awards and major media coverage they will get that we already are, along with unique visitors in the hundreds of thousands.

As to the latter, this statement makes as much sense as the one that was used in the rejection letter from a Creative Innovation award from our early days: 'You are trying to do something that has not been proven before, in a way that we could not fully grasp', ie: too creatively innovative.

And what, precisely, could be any more socially significant, impactful and changing than getting the general public on board with re:using stuff to save the planet because they want to, as opposed to recycling because they're forced or shamed to?

Sigh.

Conspicuous Consumer Consumption

BBC Newsnight got into the whole 4x4xfarce issue last night with a piece that was pretty cynical about the motivations and the maths used by councils and enviro-advocates of the parking policy. I of course had add to my previous post and weigh in:

"Interesting piece. And some interesting facts. Shame these days I have no way of knowing which are true. Is the enviro-cost of making a new car 5% or 25%? That's a heck of a span to try and factor into a running, e-cost & purchase decision. As to the parking plan, let me get this straight. The proposal is to tax the vehicle, which may be moving, but most likely more often than not won't be. Meanwhile, there will be no disincentive for buzzing about all day using a 'green' vehicle, say an electric car, much beloved of many an authoritative spokesperson, which apparently 'causes no pollution'. Only the exhaust pipe is in another place, and the 'fuel' transfer system is not awfully efficient. And if I am convinced, and can find the funds for a new car (not all of us can drum up a Prius' worth - and as a country/motorway driver lugging a battery around doesn't seem optimal anyway- that quickly), where exactly does my perfectly good old car end up? I rather suspect it will still be used elsewhere, still popping CO2 skywards somewhere on the planet (though on my reuse website someone did once suggest turning them into saunas. I wonder if that's where Ming's, Dave's and all the other Gov-guzzlers ended up?) So now we've generated an extra car and both are belching out greenhouse gasses. Brilliant. ps: This is not anti-environment. Anything but. I just want to know the truth so I can make the best decisions for myself, my family and the planet."

A Better Mousetrap?

I'm rather chuffed with myself. And, more importantly, with Junkk.com.

I was in the kitchen last night making a cuppa, and as the kettle boiled I looked at the plug, the socket, the device I've been making out of old milk bottles for my Mum... and then back at the milk bottle.

With pride, I introduce the Plug:Jug. It even has colour coding courtesy of the lid.

Evolution is a wonderful thing. Shame I can't make money out of it.

Would you go somewhere that couldn't cope with you?

Firing away left and right, I decided to contribute to this: Stop wailing for the post office and put some life back in your village
"Now privy to facts I was not aware of previously, I can concede that the business model of the village (or small town) Post Office is shakier than I thought. However, with no real evidence to offer than my own experience, I must say that there can be a bit more going on than retirement or leisure. Thanks to an energetic campaign, our small community found itself with broadband more than a few years ago, and I'd like to think this has resulted in an influx or newer, younger and more environmentally-concerned businesses. I like my kids to breathe clean air, do not like to travel if I can help it, and am quite happy to do most I can online if at all possible. However, the odd pack needs to go out in the mail, just as they come in. Pity to lose that. Rather than whinging, I am actively trying to build community links, not just here but nationally, around the odd notion that local businesses and the population can benefit from profitable integrations surrounding reuse."

There was also the small matter that I could take a punt.

But this is a big issue. I reckon we're at a watershed in commuting, and frankly the only direction seems to be to stay at home. But like so many things, if the infrastructure is not in place to cope, why would anyone try?

4x4xfarce

The proposal by a London borough to tax 'polluting' vehicles, as opposed to the causes of pollution (they can be different - 100 miles in a badly tuned G-reg Mini may not be as good as 10 in a Cayenne) has attracted my attention.

And as they allow uncensored posts, I decided to make known my views in the Guardian. As follows:

"Let me get this straight. The proposal is to tax the vehicle, which may be moving, but most likely more often than not won't be. Meanwhile, there will be no disincentive for buzzing about all day using a 'green' vehicle, such as an electric car, much beloved of many a gushing TV presenter or authoritative official, which apparently 'causes no pollution'. Only the exhaust pipe is in another place, and the 'fuel' transfer system is not awfully efficient. Brilliant."

Would one care for a deep fried Mars bar, Old Boy?

Another (re:lated) industry, another bit of self-analysis with a question mark at the end: Time to ask: how green is your tally?

And I again I have been moved to reply:

Excuse me as I put down my latte. I must say that is a more colourful at least figuratively) expression the one we have adopted, which is the more literal 'green lite'. I thank you for a most interesting article, and some worthwhile leads for us to pursue. It's a bit of a shame that most of the effort in this area (at least there is some now) is at the upper, some my say 'luxury' end of the market. But still a red Razr is still a new mobile coming on stream, though one can hope that we have many avenues now for the discarded model to be disposed of fruitfully. And equally, a Prius is great, so long as it is not in addition to another model, or used outside of the urban environment (on a motorway the engine is lugging a dirty great big battery). And there are those who do care about the planet, would like to do something, but may not have the disposables to whack a wind turbine up this weekend, or the clout with the local council to push it through. So we see another great area of opportunity in the Fiesta Family. And just to see how even big business can get on board, see what ecover have done on our site. They not only uploaded their entire range, but hired two designers to bolt ideas on. At no real cost to themselves, they added second use and another reason to buy. That's real, responsible.. and the potential for a new extra market.

Junkk Male on Junk Mail

An interesting question, posed from within the marketing industry: Time to ask: how green is your tally?

To which I felt moved to offer this reply:

It's a tricky one. But it's worth bearing in mind that not all that's green can be black or white. I must confess a degree of schizophrenia here. On the one hand I operate a website, Junkk.com, which advocates ways of saving the planet, whilst my day job is as a freelance creative, of which DM is a bread and butter part. In fact, my first agency client was the DMSB, and it was I who pushed them to actually use targeted DM rather than DPS's in Campaign to sell their message, a move applauded by all except media sales guys. Even our own business uses the odd (well-targeted, one prays... these babies are expensive) mailshot to stand a better chance of getting through to our audience. E-mails simply don't get through, and my cold calling technique seldom gets past Tracey on Reception, much less Mrs. Miggins with her IBM Selectric on gatekeeper duty. Even should I pass the 'Hooshudisazcallin?' test, I usually fall at 'Does s/he know what it's about?'. Thing is, like everything in this contentious arena, I do wonder whether there are some areas being unfairly singled out against a much bigger picture. Don't get me wrong, I truly loathe an in-tray full of A5 bank invitations which start 'We know you are a busy man..' or magazine DL sign-up exhortations splatted with 'As a loyal customer, just you in this area has..', and consign all to the bin unread, and hence wasted in totality. Sadly, I have to concede they must work as a business model, otherwise they would not be sent. But then, what about the newspaper that has a raft of sections I neither want nor read? Style inserts with the reporter gushing over some lovely in a fur bikini (is fur in or out this week?) from a show in Bali. Ironically usually in a section twice removed from the one muttering the carbon content of unnecessary air miles? Which brings me to a further consideration: the next big thing to the necessary evil of our desire to travel may be biofuels, on the basis that they are carbon neutral. Could one not therefore argue that so long as the raw materials are from managed, renewable (and maybe recycling is not the best option here, as Mr. Baker has indicated) resources, then the greenery in question is acting as a similar compensatory sink for the paper industry. Me, I'll keep on producing our DM with a clear conscience on this basis. Accepting we do have to communicate, so reduction is not an option, but at least so far all we have produced gets reused. I'll send you a sample if you like (by email of course, to see if you'd like it hard copy).

My Four Frames of Fame II

Watching Sunday's episode of SKY's Big Idea was like being back at the British Invention Show, as many of the contestants had been fellow exhibitors.

This time it was filmed at Imperial College, but not the day we were there, so I believe I'm right in thinking that we should be 'due' in two weeks' time.

I did get featured again, and it wasn't bad. Their theme on this occasion was motivations, and I was aired explaining how Junkk.com could save time, money and the planet. The voiceover was flip but at least said it was an impressive aim.

The show was pretty much identical to the last. The Judges were kind to the contestants, but not to each other. And Richard Bacon was again quite incisive in his questions and doubts on an idea's validity. And this time, 'tester' Dick strawberries actually found flaw in a few.

As to the ideas, well, I'm afraid I saw no 'Big Idea'. I can't duplicate with Junkk.com the electronic ones, but two are entirely doable, and so I will try to make them up for next time.

Meanwhile here's last week's winner, which I knocked up at the show with a milk bottle and cutter in about 5 minutes. For free.

Bright Idea. Dim View?

Well, just back from the British Invention Show.

Four days. Not too short; not too long. Met some nice folk, both fellow exhibitors and also visitors. On balance, probably a good thing I went.

First up... Junkk.com got bronzed! Yep, despite being more of 'an idea that helps other people have ideas', we actually snagged a bronze award.

Secondly, we got some coverage, in the Indy no less. Shame they forgot to mention the site URL, though. Thanks guys! But A LOT better than nothing, I'd say.

Best yet, my actual Junkk-inspired, for-money invention got a lot of thumbs up from a lot of quarters, including the Patent Office reps (sweet to come back to the forms I filed before I left already endorsed and sitting on my doormat), some very hard-nosed judges, some patent agents and some licensing advisors.

Downsides? Well, it was more money, and a precious four days away from base. Perhaps the biggest downer was not realising that there was a £10 entry fee, and that kinda snookered the vast hordes of public I needed to boost the sign-ups. But I guess quality is better than quantity. And I think I may have made some good new chums who can plug into the Junkk ethos and help spread the word and even generate some content.

I think I have a busy week ahead. A lot piled up while I was away.

My four frames of fame (so far)

Well, they do say fame is fleeting. There must be a better way to do this (MySpace...YouTube?), but here are four screen grabs (pretty much equating to my time on air) from the SKY Big Idea trailer.